Ascension/Descension

Eliza Ayres:

Magnificent sharing by my Sistar, Maria…

Originally posted on LightLover Journal:

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At the same time that our 3d Self ascends, our Higher Dimensional Self descends.

It is at this stage that many in the Heart Collective find them “Selves” in at this moment of this Divine Shift.

The descension of our Higher Selves.( Our lower dimensional selves have ascended and done the inner work to clear and heal and activate our lightbodies)

There comes a point when a high enough percentage of the personal inner work is achieved,when a soul reaches a frequency, a vibration, through the Heart connection to Source, that the human aspect of dimensional Self is healed and unified.

All aspects, physical.mental,emotional, spiritual, and etheric selves become One.

This is when the lightbody activates and when we step into our multidimensional selves, and fully into our Light.

Lightbody activation symptoms for me and those I am currently working with include:

Sense of no time, which can be very disconcerting.

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The Angels: Being the Light

"The Three Sisters"

“The Three Sisters”

Note to Reader:  At long last a message has come through.  Use your personal discernment to decide whether or not the words resonate with you.  It is not just the words, which are limited, but the encoding of Light that the words convey which will reach those who are in need of solace and understanding.  We are not all currently at the same level of understanding and that is as it should be.. and will continue to change.  Ascension is a process, not a race, and no one person stands out as being ahead of the rest.  We are One and will come to understand that phrase more perfectly in the near future.  Blessings to all.  Eliza

The Angels: Being the Light

In the Beginning there was the Word and the Word was Light.

Thus starts one of the books of the New Testament. Of course your human minds have to know… just what IS the Light and what IS the Word?

As Angels we know these things as we are these things. We understand our true essence and do not need to struggle to understand what is not spoken. We just know.

As humans who have long suffered under the illusion that you are separated from Source, you are only now beginning to receive glimmerings of what we already have known forever within our existence. And some of you now understand that you CHOSE to forget who you were for the sake of bringing the Light to those who have long dwelt in darkness. This was a service and mission that you were both selected for and volunteered to do, upon a benighted planet, the last one to ascend within this known Universe.

You are not alone. You are not separate from Source. The entire Universe resides within your energy body, as potential, waiting that moment when you begin to allow the whisperings of soul to penetrate your self-hatred and misappropriated human understanding of life.

Let the warmth of the Inner Sun melt away the self-hatred and self-judgment. You have not failed by being here, by being alive upon this strange world. You have chosen to BE here, now, for the greatest occasion of the beginning of an unprecedented period of change and transformation of this world. And it is happening BECAUSE you ARE here.

So allow us to dry your tears as years of misguided teachings and beliefs are washed away in the light of understanding that comes as you open to the whispers of your inner voice, to the wisdom that ever abides within, that can only be accessed through an open heart.

Release the barriers that surround your heart, release your fears and judgment, of yourself and of others who at first do not seem to be like you, but are, truly, as you are One at your innermost core.

Even now that Core, your essence, is being exposed to the world. The Light within is shining through the human miasma of the centuries of living here in one culture after another, in one body after another, to gain experience and wisdom… the wisdom that will come to be useful as you look upon the changing world and see the possibilities that lie before each person if only they also turn to the Light and embrace the fullness of their Beingness.

We see you as you ARE, a multidimensional being who has taken on form as many individuals, but whom is, at the core, at its true essence, One being, completely aligned with the Source energy.

It may not seem this way to many who are still experiencing the effects of human confusion, as the misunderstandings and knowledge derived from those who do feel separated from Source, now fight to retain what they believe is their right to be free of the dominion of Source. This ego-driven fear now drives these frightened ones to threaten and cajole their fellows, to use unmitigated force to attempt to control what cannot be contained, the awakening of the humans around them.

Your galaxy has moved into a new region of space that contains energy that is now supporting change and transformation, at least for those who allow the energies to penetrate to their core. Those who resist will face change forced upon them through forces outside their control. There is no earthly way to control what is happening world-wide, indeed, throughout your solar system.

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Your scientists have seen the changes occurring in your Sun and on the other planets in your solar system, although many of you are still ignorant of these changes. This ignorance has been forced upon you by those who still seek to control through outer circumstances, your consciousness and your life.

Yet now, you can step beyond these controllers’ attempts to corral human consciousness. By going within, you enter into worlds beyond the knowledge of those who are not in alignment with the music of the Spheres, or the soft whispers of the soul to the human heart. No bars on the windows can contain the awakening process of those who heed the inner voice of wisdom and love.

Your world and your lives are undergoing a profound transformation, one that will take you well beyond what you have experienced within the time frame of the last several thousand years. And you will take the necessary steps to allow these changes as you are in tune with the inner murmurings of the Soul, which guides and protects each step that you take, whether or not you know in advance where that step will take you.

Allow fear to be washed from your body, allow the healing that has taken place to now be transformed into deeds, as you begin to move, first as individuals, then as communities and collectives, forward with the intent to heal your world and to create lives of abundance, joy and peace for all life.

As a flower responds to the warmth of the sun, your DNA is undergoing an alternation, allowing those parts that have been off-line for centuries to now come back online. As this natural process occurs, your inner wisdom and gifts will unfold and be revealed to yourself and to those who share your daily life. You will know, in the ever present Now, what it is that needs to be done. You will contain within yourself, as you gain access to the Akashic Library, what and now to go about things in order to accomplish that which has, at least in the past, been written off as being impossible to accomplish. It will be done as it is the Will of the Source, the Creator, for these things to happen, now. And yet, your acknowledgement and acceptance of this Will is also needed as Spirit works in cooperation, not separation.

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You are embodied Spirit, a divine being who dwells within a vessel made up of the materials from the body of the planet upon which a portion of your awareness now resides. As more of your presence is allowed to be present within that same vessel, you are undergoing a profound alteration in the manner in which you approach daily life. It is as if your entire world has been turned topsy-turvy. And so it is, that Spirit does not work or function in the manner in which you have been taught to accept as “the way it is” as a youngster. That “way” was false and corrupt and designed to control so that a few powerful individuals ruled an entire planet and held the population under their sway. That time is now gone and although the effects will linger until completely transmuted; you have been given the opportunity to take control of your own lives through your sacred intent and desire to work WITH life and with Spirit.

You will discover as you undergo the necessary cleansings by the elements (fire, air, earth and water) that your life takes on a completely new meaning. Spirit supports life. Life responds in kind by translating spirit into a multitude of creative new forms.

You will discover, in the near “future”, just what amazing synchronicities will occur in your life to transform it into something that you would not recognize today as being possible, let alone probable. Allow Spirit to transform you, from the inside out and become and embody the full potential that you already carry within your energy field, as a living god, a creator being, as one and in full unified resonance with Source energy.

We are ever present and await your permission and acceptance of our assistance to help you move through these intense times with grace and ease. Speak to us in whispers or shouts; we will come quicker than thought and hold you up as you undergo these miraculous times of wonder and change.

We are the Angels of the Legions of the Divine Mother, who ever watches over her children and who responds to their prayers and walks through their meditations.

Namaste.

©All Rights Reserved, Elizabeth Ayres Escher, www.bluedragonjournal.com

Journal Entry 06.27.15

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Journal Entry 06.27.15 – Transformation from Within

Note to Reader:  This piece flowed forth this morning.  It may or mean something to my readers, but that is up to your personal discernment.  For more local news, I took a walk very early since at 08:00 hours, it was already 84 degrees F (over 32 C) and forecast to reach 108 this afternoon.  It is clear to me that our climate is changing, whether through the actions of mankind, the influences of our sun and even the position of our solar system in a new part of galactic space, unknown to our world for thousands upon thousands of years.  What happens within one lifetime is less than a second in Universal time or consideration.  A good gardener plans for hundreds of years, not one season.  Expand your horizons beyond what is seen in your physical world and walk the stars with the Angels.

How does one exist within time and space and not at the same moment? It’s all about realizing one’s multidimensionality.

As the last three weeks passed and I did not feel compelled to write anything, I mean ANYTHING, I could almost hear a few of my readers thinking to themselves, “Now, why don’t she write?”

How does one convey through a three-dimensional language the process of stripping away completely all implements and memories of former lives within this one lifetime? One doesn’t. One experiences the moment by moment sensations and realizations. One comes to an understanding that what one once was, even within their own perception, no longer exists.

I look at books that once inspired me. There is no longer any connection. I do not resonate, bad, good, ugly or indifferent. I am not depressed, merely aware of being, once again, the constant observer of the disintegration of what was once “my life.”

I am still working, but that part of my life, too, will soon come to an end. And I will be moving far, far away from where I have lived most of my adult life, the State of Washington, in the United States. It is almost like, overnight, I have become a citizen of the planet, free to move, to go, to explore, to visit… anywhere. I anticipate that I might be doing a considerable amount of traveling in the near future for one who has been rather solidly planted in the Northwest for a long time. When, where, how and with who remains unclear for now, except for my newly found sistar, Maria, who will be my primary traveling companion.

The direction where the flow of life will take me is changing, too. Writing, artwork, photography and more metaphysical endeavors promise to fill a life transformed. Play, exercise and being in nature and being natural will also take precedence over being proper and methodical. Balance will be rediscovered and gratitude for being alive and being on this beautiful planet will guide my every waking moment.

What I AM and what I am becoming is the revelation and integration of the higher essences of my multidimensionality beginning to successfully take “root” within my body and awareness.

No, I have not yet experienced walking between dimensions and worlds, or have had lucid remembrances of being aboard star ships or the like. It does not matter. I have changed completely and utterly from the person I once was, even just a short year ago. My heart is open. My light body is activated. I AM free. And I’m not going anywhere. I don’t need to. The assignment was to bring the Light to this darkened world, to be an anchor and transformer for the light so the energies might be stepped down and activated in all with whom I walked in this lifetime and others. Someday, I will walk out of this body and go “home” but that day is not now.

Krishnamurti once said that no man can lead another to God. Yet one can allow the energies of God to move through their life in order to light the way for others so that they might find their way with more ease and grace. That is my purpose for being here and it is enough.

I have learned that one must seek within as the Universe truly resides within your own energy field. It is up to each individual to come awake to the realization that you are the center of the Universe, your Universe and the ultimate creator of what you experience in that same Universe. If you desire joy, you can simply turn your thoughts to joy. If you resist the reality of your great power, you experience suffering and separation. Only by joining Self within do you begin to sense the power of unity. What others do within their Universe is their decision and it is beyond your ability to control them if they no longer wish to be controlled.

When you fight or judge the effects of the world “out there”, you are judging your own creation. Yes, there are many grim things that one can see in the world today as those who have traditionally held control over the masses struggle to retain that control in the old manner of using deceit and manipulation of emotions, most especially that of fear.

When one steps out of fear and can face unflinching the realization that one has walked both paths, the dark and the light, through this world of duality, then one can decide whether or not one is to be forgiven. Experience is the purpose for which many souls came here, for the sake of soul growth. One cannot understand fully the vicissitudes of life without walking literally in the shoes of another.

Recently, I have worked full-time in a high security prison. I have made it clear that I am a highly sensitive person yet I have thrived in this challenging atmosphere and have learned to come into balance and acceptance of the essence of humanity that transcends the positive and negative aspects of judgment, of physical acts, the sheer scope of proper socialization of a nation’s children and young people, the failure of a “democracy” to provide for its people and so on. I have come face to face with the frustration, the stoicism, the cynicism of a people who society has shut out and attempted to forget. I have seen, first hand, the failure of the Western model of medicine that does not heal the body, but attempts to cover up pathology of bodies unbalanced by poor diet, ingestion and absorption of poisons in the food, air and water. I have heard of the failures of modern medicine, for example, in stories of the failure of even the more successful aspects of physical medicine, orthopedic surgery, as metallic implants have come apart within flesh, leading to still further complications and more surgery. I have seen a people completely consumed by the need to possess materials or each other for the sake of looking and feeling “better” than their neighbors, even if what they possess can be contained with a couple of boxes on a transport bus.

Western society has failed. We must move on. And I have chosen the only path that I can take, which is to move on myself and leave the rest behind. I am not in charge of the lives of other people. They will come to a decision to change or not. It is for me to allow that ability to make a decision or not to take place. If I make a decision now, I choose, also, to take responsibility for the consequences.

I follow no Master other than the conscience that resides within an opened heart. I have felt the compassion that transcends the need to correct or save anybody or anything. Perhaps there will be those who come to me with questions, but ultimately all answers will be found by each person going within and seeking there the answers that reside within the Universal Akashic Records, the Wisdom of the Ages.

There is a new sense of peace that transcends the need to prove my point to anyone or to argue or push concepts upon others. I have arrived at a place where the seeds sowed through many lifetimes can now push up through the soil prepared and take their place in the secret garden of my heart. I AM that Which I AM, a part of Source, an echo of the unknowable made flesh, if for but a transitory moment in the ever present NOW.

Namaste. I bow to the Divinity that resides within the hearts of all mankind and within all Creation.

I AM Eliza

Journal Entry 05.21.2015

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Journal Entry 05.21.2015

88 energies.

How is everyone enjoying the Mercury Retrograde?

I saw this little photo today on the hiking blog which I still read periodically:

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Instead of “hanging” in the mountains, I’ll be splashing in the warm tropical waters of the Pacific Ocean.  It’s a big change from little ole Walla Walla and the wheat fields.

Be prepared for big shifts in the coming days.  A financial reset is on its way to your neighborhood.  Have extra cash on hand in case that bank card doesn’t work for a while.

Still packing… will sort through things again tonight.  Still getting my head around the fact that I’m going at all.

I KNOW that my life is going to change BIG time as a result of taking this trip.

See you on the other side!

Eliza

 

Journal Entry 05.20.2015

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Journal Entry 05.20.2015

I stepped out of my usual weekday activities these past two days to attend annual in-service training for work.  Just the slight adjustment was enough to make me realize that I probably won’t be working at the prison for much longer.

I’ve been fairly silent of late.  Prepping for “The Trip” and generally letting go of a lot of the emotions that keep surfacing for surrender.  I don’t really have the capacity to write much now.

On Sunday, I’ll be off for nearly two weeks.  I am NOT taking the laptop with me.  This is time to reflect on new possibilities in a totally different environment, both inner and outer.

The cycle of Ascension is accelerating and so is the velocity of change.  The earth herself is moving and adjusting, expanding into 5D and people are waking up.  Big changes are in store for the banking system and all other institutions.

During the trip, I may pop in on FaceBook once in awhile, but WiFi coverage is not always as reliable as at home.  If I feel like it, I might post a photo or two if I can figure out how do so on my tablet.

Meanwhile, take the time to relax and rest as your bodies process the latest energy surges.  I know that I’ve been feeling tired lately and more than a bit spacey.

Much love to all,

Eliza

The Angels: Living with Paradox

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The Angels: Living with Paradox

Note to Reader:  It seems that whenever I determine not to do something, I end up doing it.  That is living with paradox and being willing to follow the ebb and flow of our inner being…

We are here alongside you in the eternal Now even as you step into a new sense of self. You are re-membering who and what you were, are and will be beyond the temporary boundaries of the flesh that you wear.

You are not your body.

You are not the ideas and conditioning of your childhood and culture.

You are magnificent beyond words and yet few of you have any conception of your true nature.

You ARE a fractal part of “God”, that unknowable essence of Creation that brought this world and trillions beyond trillions of others into being.

What are you?

Are you a man, woman or child?

You have been all of these and have lived in many races, tribes, countries and cultures. And yet these definitions do not encompass the real You, the one that exists outside of time and space.

Are you black, white, brown, red or yellow? The color of your skin does not determine or define or limit the real You. Flesh is but an envelope sealing in the corporeal material… what appears to be solid, yet is not, that makes up your temporary home on this planet.

Are you a star seed, a way shower, a gatekeeper… someone who is just waking up… someone who is still asleep? These are conditions and labels that have nothing to do with the real You.

Step beyond the need to label, to define, to limit, to divide, to section off… one from another, individuals from groups, groups from other groups. Step beyond duality, the need to defend yourself, your family, your country from an enemy “out there”.

All that you see is a part of your body. All that you are unable to see with your physical body is a part of your body… that body that exists outside of form and limitation. You contain within the Universe and the Universe contains you within itself.

To live in Unity with Self, your multidimensional Self, is to accept the existence of magic and to live with paradox. Not all is what it seems.

The chair that you sit upon is not solid. It is a whirling spiral of electrons and protons, united by magnetic forces and taking the appearance of solidity within a collective hologram.

You are here, now, because you have chosen to be here, for a specific purpose or many.

You are more than your past lives. You are more than your existence in other dimensions and star cultures. You are more than the summation of your days here, within this lifetime.

What you see as “the world” is a result of a collective consensus. That consensus is changing, altering and transforming. How quickly the changes come depends on your input, your intent, your willingness to expand your consciousness to see, feel and be more every day. This is a process that is both individual and collective. Let us say here that some of the collective have decided to step out of the collective consensus and to act as way-showers for those who will follow, in their own way and with their own timing.

You have NO conception of how powerful you are.

You are not alone, either. You are about to be joined by those who have watched over your evolution for untold centuries and years.

Everything that you think you know, what you have been told is a lie. Only you can determine what you DO know, by going within and taking stock with the true compass of your being, the intuitive voice of spirit that speaks to you through heart and body.

The voice of spirit is soft and gentle. Many people chose to ignore the nudges, the whispers, the gentle tugs at the heart strings.

Those people who are listening often appear to do things in opposition to what is generally acceptable in society. This is because they have chosen to no longer identify or to be defined by the brittle boundaries of the collective. They are reaching for what cannot yet be seen or felt by those who listen to the loud voices outside.

In your society, love has been defined as being accepting, selfless, conditioned on getting something in return (gifts, devotion, etc.). Love is far more vast and complicated than a simple emotion or feeling.

What is the force that binds planets and stars together? Love.

What is the force that keeps the galaxy rotating around its center? Love.

What is the force that brings life into being and destroys the form only to bring it into a higher frequency? Love.

Love is.

As those who have been called to move into a higher way of being on your planet seem to separate and go their own way, leaving family and friends behind, understand this, beloved ones, that they have received the Call of Love, the call to serve Gaia.

Gaia is at the center of a determined and preordained effort to bring light and freedom to this Galaxy. Many there are the worlds that have been darkened by the shadows that have disturbed your world and impeded the ability for humanity to evolve more quickly into a fully conscious galactic civilization.

Many of the individuals who are now moving into greater service for Gaia are in training for other roles, in other places, timelines and worlds, far beyond your skies. Let them go.

There is nothing in your world that is permanent, which can remain the same forever. To think that it is possible to retain a friendship or relationship “forever” is to limit your choices as you grow and change. This is especially true now. It also does not mean that the particular relationship cannot undergo changes and transitions and transformations if each individual or members of a particular group can allow the changes to occur organically and without judgment.

Paradox exists and you will come to know it better even as each of you strives to come into a renewed balance between the masculine part of self (logic, rational) and the feminine (creativity, intuition). You can use both on the path and will need to, as the masculine lends strength and boundaries to the creative process that might otherwise scatter before the winds. It is when one energy dominates and seeks to repress the other that imbalance occurs.

So it is with the return of the essence of the Divine Feminine to your planet that it appears chaos is ruling the day. Lives and institutions are being turned upside down and sideways… yet it is a personal choice for each individual as they decide to flow with the changes and transformations or to resist.

Your ancestors knew that the physical world is subject to cycles. There is an end to all things, but there is also a beginning to be found within the end. This is paradox and it is becoming your new reality.

The energies of the Cosmos are flowing and crashing upon the shores of your world, causing the break-up of entropy. The destructive forces of creation have been unleashed. You may not understand that it is for your benefit to let go of all that no longer serves you. It is a necessary part of growth and expansion into a higher frequency range. That which belonged to the old energy will no longer function in the new.

Perhaps you have lost a loved one recently to disease. Perhaps you have lost your job. Perhaps you are feeling confused, lost, at a loss for words and sense of direction. What to do? Where to go? Where should I turn?

You know the answers even though at first you may not like them, for the silent voice that emanates from higher self pushes and tugs at you to expand. Whether or not you obey and commence the transformation is determined by you… at least at first. For when change is resisted from within, it will manifest from without.

What you are seeing in your world is changing, coming apart at the seams. What has been hidden is now being revealed. Where there is still darkness is being shown. Many are the revelations to come, many unpleasant as much has been hidden from the general populace. And yet… all of you are in this together. Much will be demanded of you in the days to come. Much will be dependent on how you choose to react or flow with the changes that are here… not just coming, but here now.

The definition of “life” as lived formerly within the rigid paradigm of 3D is no longer. You can re-create yourself and re-member the wholeness of what you are in the greater part of your Being. Allow the energies of heaven (the higher dimensions) take anchor in your flesh and transform your consciousness, waking you up to what exists beyond this narrow and limited view of the Universe. By anchoring to heaven and earth, you become a conduit of powers of creation.

These powers can only be used by one who has surrendered the little will (the ego) and lives by the laws of the Universe, which are not the same laws to which you are now subjected. You lose yourself to become your Self. You join the One and become the Many, while at the same time retaining an individualized consciousness. Paradox. This is unity consciousness. This is love. And this is but one step on the way to reuniting with ALL THAT IS.

Feel the way through the words that we have used. Your language is limited, by design, to fit the paradigm from which you are now emerging. You have not yet mastered the language of the Stars or the ability to convey your thoughts through images and symbols. You will arrive there, eventually, even as you surrender the life that you have known before to another one.

Will you step through the Doorway that leads to the Infinite? It is your choice.

We are the Angels and we bid you well on your inner journey.

Namaste.

All Rights Reserved, Elizabeth Ayres Escher, http://www.bluedragonjournal.com

Journal Entry 05.10.2015 – Are We There Yet?

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Journal Entry 05.10.2015 – Are We There Yet?

“Where are we going?”

Perhaps you have been wondering this, feeling this, thinking this sentiment. As well as, “What’s going on?”

Even people whom you would have thought never to wake up are noticing that things are not functioning as usual. The weather patterns are different. People are… well, more intense. Things once loved are dropping away, sometimes in a short amount of time. And it feels like we’re living lifetimes within a matter of days and even hours.

This past week I was dealing with EGO issues. With my upcoming trip to Costa Rica approaching rapidamente, my human mind and emotions were in overwhelm. From near panic mode, to feeling muscular tension, to being especially irritable and ultra-sensitive to the noise and confusion at work, to denial, anger, projection… you name it and it pretty much surfaced. Eliza’s dark side; we all have one; it’s just that many light workers don’t like to look their dark twin in the eye and say, “Howdy!”

And then there was the issue of learning Spanish and touring through countryside where I’ve never been before. I’m used to the American wilds and feel comfortable navigating dirt and gravel roads in the mountains, as well as trails, but finding a bus station in a big Central American city… now I was feeling a wee bit intimidated, but determined, nonetheless to succeed in finding everything and getting to my destination in one piece. Some of you more seasoned travelers might laugh, but we all have our weaknesses to confront and move through. Travel is one of mine… long distance travel, especially long distance international travel.

I traveled to Great Britain once, but I was with a group of people whom I knew a bit. Even then I had uncomfortable moments as I confronted ancient energy fields at old battle fields and castles. By the time our little group had reached Wales, I was overwhelmed by the energies and had to spend half a day in bed, shivering with fever. As I lay there on the bed next to a large window overlooking the Menai Straits and Anglesey (a large island off the coast of Wales) I wandered in and out of a feverish mist. Years later I discovered that the bed and breakfast where we were lodged was located just down the hill from the Roman camp… where the invasion of Mona, the Druid College and stronghold in Britain, was staged by the Romans. A very ancient memory was surfacing for me then, so many years ago, long before I even heard of the term, “ascension”.

My sensitivity and awareness of energies has increased since that long ago day, but I also have more awareness of self and my greater Self, as well.

I think the ego games were stirred up by 1) the intensifying energies and 2) the “trip”.

And then this morning, I received a very nice email from one of my readers, a lady who lives on the SE Coast of the States. After a flurry of emails, it looks like my new acquaintance will be connecting up with me on my flight down to CR. And she is a fluent Spanish speaker, having been born and raised as a youngster in Argentina. Talk about synchronicity! This light worker has also been receiving impulse to check out Costa Rica and only this morning, received an intuition to connect with me.

I tell you, folks, if you put out your intent, good things will happen. Now I have a travel companion, another American female, who is fluent in Spanish and an experienced traveler, as well. And she is a dedicated light worker, grid worker and Ascension guide. I’m sure we can share some interesting conversations with each other. This will be the first meeting for me with another bonafide light worker, one who is dedicated to serving the ascension of Gaia. And we will be meeting my other friend, who lives in Costa Rica. This trip promises to be life-changing, probably for all of us and others who will be eventually drawn into making such tribal connections, Light tribal connections.

Ascension has, for the forerunners and way showers, reached another level. As Bill Ballard pointed out in his video presentation from May 3, 2015, the energies are coming in fast and furious. Where we used to encounter a rise in frequency every 18 months or so in 2010, they’re now arriving sometimes three in one or two weeks! ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tsAvvoA0yw)

While I am still working in a dense environment, being a high security prison, I can still manage to feel the intense energies even when sitting at my desk or standing in front of the copy machine. And when I am in my own space at home, I feel them even more intensely.

There has been a sense of feeling wired and tired, both at the same time. Sleep has been disturbed; dreams are active, intense and lengthy although quickly forgotten upon waking. I have moved beyond the need to “channel” other entities, especially that of “ascended masters” as I don’t need their teachings any more. The old energy is gone, done, finale… even though many light workers and waking ones still cling to the old teachings with surprising tenacity.

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Now I recognize the “why” I didn’t adhere to any one manner of teaching or meditation. While these teaching… any and all of them… served as steps upon the way, they are now outmoded given that the energies have increased to frequency levels far above what was available even to many of the masters while living upon this planet in bygone days. Sandra Walters addresses this letting go process that we all need to go through as we commit to really ascending… which means to go BEYOND all that we learned and did in the old energy. It’s time to release the old mantras, spiritual practices, meditation forms, etc., that you may have overly identified with, as each of these, if not released, can serve as a glass ceiling on your ability to expand your consciousness and ground your energies with your expanded sense of Self, your multidimensional Self, your REAL self. For Sandra’s link, go to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKZvRLiVfdA

What we have experienced here has been for teaching and experience. What we thought was reality is now being proven by scientists to be a hologram, NOT real. Anything we have identified with or been a part of before in the old energy needs to be released willingly or it will be taken away as the old can no longer survive in the new frequency.

I don’t have to tell you that there will be resistance to my words, but I’ve experienced the resistance in my own human self, especially this past week. I felt at times that I was wrestling with a wet gator in a mud hole. And then I dropped the fight and stepped away to gain a more balanced and disinterested perspective. When I could see that I was engaged in a battle with my own ego and acting out my anger, fear and frustration, I decided to observe and to change my attitude to one of gratitude and appreciation for the opportunity of taking this trip and meeting new people.

We are SO incredibly powerful, folks. While we all have worked together to create a collective hologram in which to experience powerful lessons in 3D, now we have the choice to step above and beyond that outmoded story and into a new one, one that exists in 5D and beyond. As Bill Ballard, Sandra Walters, Alexander Del Sol, Meline LaFont and others can attest, they are changing daily into more of their multidimensional selves, expanding in consciousness and ease of living. Life in this new world is enjoyable and fun, something that few humans have been able to experience while here in a physical body for a very long, long time. The time of struggle is ending, at least for those who are choosing to move into ascension and are consciously making changes to their lives to fully live in the heightened energies of the ever present NOW.

There are still physical responsibilities and things to do as we all live in a world of form, but daily life can take on a whole new level when you commit to being fully in the energies of the ascended planet.

5D is here, folks. It is now a matter of personal choice whether or not you are willing to release the old and embrace the New. Either way, change will compel some decisions and many will leave the planet as their bodies cannot adjust to the new energies. And we will see more and more people, especially the young people, embracing the new with increasing enthusiasm as they observe those who have already stepped onto the path and into the New living a life of joy and abundance.

Ascension has steps… Sandra covers the steps well in her ascension material, as do other ascension guides and gatekeepers. Yet all of us need to tune into our inner guide to discover what fits and what we can lay aside and move beyond. Many choices are being laid before me. I shall enjoy seeing how this all plays out in the coming months.

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Keep on trucking, folks, moving forward, releasing and moving through whatever comes up, blessing and living in gratitude for every day we get to spend on this beautiful challenging planet.

I enjoyed a lovely walk this morning under a blue sky untouched by chem trails… for once. There have actually been fewer this past week than in the past. Is this a new development? Only time can tell, yet leaving behind the old sense of enmity and need to judge is a vital step to moving toward into ascension. When we set our intent to move into 5D and higher we are also making a commitment to set aside all duality and coming from a neutral space. This move will, perhaps, trigger others who feel that you have become emotionless and insensitive, but it is a necessary one. And there is another stage, which Sandra describes in good detail, that of Melancholia, where nothing that you have done before means anything to you now. This stage can last a good long while. I know since I’ve been in it for a few months now and now recognize it to be a form or stage of grieving and then letting go of what was once important in your life. What those things might be is different for each individual. It is not important to detail them to you now. If you have read my older pieces, you probably have a good sense of what it has taken me to get to where I am now.

Ascension is really a process of remembering who we really are. Not all people are ready to do this, to take the step of reclaiming sovereignty, personal empowerment and the responsibility that goes with it. And this is okay…but keep in mind, this ascension window will not be open forever and it may be some time before humans have another opportunity to incarnate upon this particular planet and to undergo ascension.

Many are choosing to leave, something that most people don’t want to acknowledge due to their fear of the unknown, especially the door we call “death”. I don’t fear death since I have a remembrance of living before, here, and elsewhere. Our souls… the true essence of our consciousness, is eternal. We shall continue on as fractals of the Universe experiencing itself and flowing with the ebb and flow of that same great intelligence.

I am feeling more balanced and calm than I have for a couple of weeks. It’s a nice change and welcomed. It has been a rough ride since the winter Solstice to now. Let’s hope for calmer seas in the future days… or a good stout constitution able to ride the waves with aplomb.

Namaste.

I AM Eliza

Journal Entry 4.01.2015

"Pioneer Pond", oil on canvas, 2015

“Pioneer Pond”, oil on canvas, 2015

Journal Entry 4.01.2015

Happy April Fool’s Day!

Not sure where that custom started… but another indicator that Spring is here, although there was snow falling in the Blues today and a brisk wind blowing across the flats.

It has been a week for getting chores done.  Yesterday, the winter tires came off, today groceries were purchased and put away.  Time spent on Skype with a friend in Costa Rica… you know, typical week night.

And then I continued working on my latest artistic endeavor, a large oil painting of a local pond.  The pond is in a large public park nearby my house.  I often wander through this particular park enjoying the 100+ year old trees and flower plantings.  This is also where you would find the little rose garden where I get many of my rose photos.

Yes, I’m working in oils, a new medium for me after years of working with acrylics.  I can say that I have a lot more experience painting now then when I last attempted an oil painting.  The paints themselves are a bit old as I’ve had them stored away in an old wooden box.  Still, a drop or two of linseed oil melts them into a more pliable condition.  Will have to get used to the smell though… at least the mediums have gotten a bit less toxic these days.  And my oil paints are water soluble so it’s also easier to clean up.

So… any of you dealing with really old stuff energy reviews?  I know that I’ve been… the bits about feeling dis-empowered, disconnected, unable to create / manifest what you want in life, etc.  This is very old energy that is releasing.  It’s important to let it go and not latch onto it.

There are people losing it out there for various reasons or suddenly developing severe illnesses, diseases, committing suicide and the like.  Keep centered, calm, observant and removed from the drama as it plays out in front of you.  Observe, feel compassion and release any fears that are mirrored for you through the actions of others.

Time to be that light house rather than a light worker.  We’re not here to “heal” or “save” anyone, but to open to the highest essence that we can possibly anchor here and now.  When they’re ready, others will naturally respond to the light and power and joy that we radiate into our world.

I recommend reading recent posts by Judith Kusel, Jennifer Hoffman, Brenda Hoffman and Aisha North for an overview of what is happening for some (not all, we’re at different levels or stages on our personal journeys).  Last night, I re-read the 2015 Predictions by Jennifer Hoffman and was struck with how right-on she was in seeing the energy trends and what we would be dealing with in terms of astrological influences and the like.

Sometimes I feel like I’m muddling through things… but part of that is the energy, part of it is releasing old material long repressed through a myriad of incarnations upon this sphere since Lemuria.  Speaking of which… Lemuria… Kryon has a lot to say about the ancient island continent and civilization in his messages.  Bits and pieces.  Bits and pieces to puzzle out, and begin to connect the dots.

I’m including a photo of my latest painting in mid-development.  The camera didn’t capture the richness of the colors due to the artificial light in my little “studio”, but you can perhaps see some of the design.  The pond itself is heavily draped on the edges with irises and wild grasses.  The photo was taken on an autumn walk a couple of years ago.  Last autumn, the colors were destroyed by an early intense frost that froze the unfallen leaves on trees and shrubs alike.  And then later, winter winds ripped off the leaves…  Interesting weather patterns we’re having, too.

Hope you’re enJoying your week!

Hugs and kisses,

Eliza

 

 

Eliza: Revelations for a New Year

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Eliza: Revelations for a New Year

With the transition from one year to another complete, I found within myself the courage to break free from a degree of separation into which I had “fallen” most profoundly last year.

This morning I had a revelation regarding the ancient hermetic maxim, “As Above, So Below”. What many people do not consider is the next portion of the quote, “As Within, So Without”. And that latter portion was extremely revealing to me.

Yesterday, I listened through a piece by Story Waters, entitled, “The Lie of Ascension.” For many within the ranks of “light workers” and the followers of the New Age philosophy, this would appear to be anathema. This powerful piece, which can be listened to more than once, reminded me of my hermetic background. And hence today, I began to see parallels in the expression of the past lives that I have shared with you here on this blog. It was all staring me in the face, yet I could not see, because I was so desperate to escape this world, to escape through walking out and re-blending with my ascended higher self.

Even before I came to this realization, I began to purge this journal of all references to the ascension of my higher self, Lady Tazjima, to the 7th dimension as a Lady of Light. During the past couple of months, I have begun to seriously question what this ceremony meant to me, and have come to the conclusion… not much. And as another aspect of Self, the Lady exists elsewhere. We are one, although our expression of self is very different. She is not better or higher than me. She is merely another aspect of self. I am here for the duration, however long that might be, until I am somewhere else.

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Story Waters expands on the concept of ascension as being a desire to escape physicality, because our life here feels restrictive. And he gave the key to freeing ourselves, simply by acknowledging that we are in this life because we CHOSE to be here. By rejecting our own creatorship, we are rejecting Self, the wholeness of our Being.

We are here to live Life. Yes, being in a physical body is restrictive. Yes, you cannot change your world instantaneously or can you?

Story pointed out that you can change your world, by simply changing how you look upon it, how you look upon self, how you look upon everything that you find within your world.

You are the lock and the key. Your prison is what you have created through your efforts to free yourself. Struggle hard and the prison walls grow stronger. Relax and allow yourself to flow in acceptance of what you find and the walls collapse, the door springs open and you walk forth.

The truth is that we all exist as multidimensional beings. Some portion of self exists as the rock of the planet upon which we walk. Some portion of self-enlivens the dolphin swimming in the sea. Some portion of self walks as a Tudor advisor to the Queen of England. Some portion of self has her home upon a Pleiadian Isle. Another portion of self is an ascended master of Sirius. Still other portions of your wholeness exist in everything that you see around you.

Every ascended master, every person that you meet on the bus, every fish in the sea, every bird in the sky is not only your brother or sister, it / they are a part of the wholeness of Self. Each being, each vibrational pattern that holds physicality together is a part of God, of Source, and is a reflection of the Wholeness of Life.

So… escaping to some other dimension is not the answer as you can never escape self; you are everywhere.

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As Above, So Below.

The ascended masters and angelic beings who do work with us, mostly during our sleep period, do not see themselves as above us.   They know that as we are aspects of them, they are also aspects of us, just living in another dimension, timeline or place. Yet the fabric of the universal energetic creation of the universe binds us together in ways that our human egoic mind cannot yet comprehend.

As Within, So Without.

Our outer world is a reflection of how we view ourselves. That last sentence may seem brutal to some, but there will be those who understand by feeling the truth of this statement within their hearts. If you cannot yet accept these words, do not feel dismayed. Understanding will arrive in the exact timing that is right for you.

Our world is changing. We are changing. In time, our outer world will reflect the inner changes, but to the chagrin of many, the physical realm changes at a much slower pace than the realms of light where our “higher” aspects exist. So a sense of frustration, even anger begins to emerge, to be directed either at self or projected upon another, usually someone who is part of our daily life, and sometimes an undefined “they / them” who are become our chosen “enemies”.

The only one who has the ability to change your world is yourself. You are the creator of your world, therefore only you can find the key, open the lock and change your perception of self and the world around you. If you manage to change your perception, it does not mean that the change will instantly manifest in your daily life; it takes “time” for that is the way this level of existence works.

“Time” and “space” do not exist, yet we deal with these concepts daily and have been conditioned to accept them as reality especially in the third dimension where our focus has been until presently. The world as a whole is moving into the 4th Dimension, but life here is still physical and will be for some “time” as this is how we all chose to experience life here, as spiritual beings walking around in physical vehicles and the like.

We exist on all levels of being, but here we exist in the physical realm by taking on a vehicle of perception that gives us the illusion that we are imprisoned, that we are suffering, that we are poor or rich, that we are somehow less than the rest of creation and so on.

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It is all an illusion, a teaching vehicle, a story line in which we are the observer, the actor and the acted upon. We are all players on the stage of life. How we play our parts determines our next role.

Death is not an escape. Ascension is not an escape. We have forgotten that we WANTED to come here to live and play within physicality, to experience the world slowed down so we could learn our lessons, master them and move on to others. We are here as a part of Source learning about our Self, experiencing the very edges of creation.

And we have forgotten that we carry within ourselves everything that we need. We are the key to our own lives. We can free ourselves from an imaginary prison, but first we need to love ourselves and to love everything that we see around us.

Your life can be rich even if you are poor. Your life can be a misery, a dry desert, even if you are the richest man or woman on the planet. It is all within your conception, your discernment and resonance with what is around you that you create your prison or discover that you are free, that you have always been free wherever and whenever you have found yourself. It is simply a matter of perception.

There is no place to escape to… no person that you have to become like… you do not have to emulate any great master. You are a part of Source and as such, you carry all that you need within your own heart and mind. You have access to the secrets of the Universe… if you let go of preconceptions, beliefs and conditioning that are designed to prevent you from looking within, from connecting with those others parts of Self that are all around you, both seen and unseen.

Accept that you are here to enjoy life, however you might find it. There is always something to enjoy, to celebrate. Start simple by loving yourself. Accepting yourself. Being yourself, without thinking that you need to be like another. You are beautiful and whole within. Release your fears and you will begin to feel and sense this truth in your own heart.

Looking through some of my “past” lifetimes, I realize that prisons, imprisonment and the desire for “freedom” have been reoccurring themes for me, for this focus. As the marquis, I spent five years in prison and most of my adult life restricted by authority from being actively involved in the political life of my country. As the Indian chief, I spent years with my people imprisoned with part of the remnant of my people far away from my homeland. I was never allowed to return to the valley of winding waters and died in a reservation far to the north, from a broken heart.

In this lifetime I have graduated to working in a prison rather than being imprisoned… so I guess I have made some headway! And yet, even working in a prison can feel like you are in prison, a pawn within an unfeeling contradictory system, if you let yourself go there. Or it can be a rich experience of encountering people that I would not otherwise encounter in daily life and observing their lives and the results of decisions which they have made.

It is not a matter of judgment that I approach this understanding, either of myself or of others. I have been in prison myself and know how it feels to realize that you were imprisoned unjustly or by a system that you did not understand. It is through reaching this understanding and letting go of all judgment that you free yourself, even if the walls and bars are still around your physical body. You are free or you are in prison, one of your own making. It is a choice, a choice of perception.

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You can step free at any time by perceiving that you are already free, you are already whole, that there is no striving to be done. You can rest within your own heart and feel the Light of your divinity shining there, even if you stand within the bleakest prison. We have seen men do just this within this century and the last… in the personages of Nelson Mandela and Gandhi. These men demonstrated to all of us that one is always free even when bearing chains. Never did these men allow themselves to believe that they were in any sense lesser beings than those who chose to imprison them. Who was the prisoner? And who was the jail keeper? Who was a prisoner of their own fears, prejudice and reactionary responses to change? No one is the judge here, but I hope you can see for yourself the truth that these two extraordinary men exemplified for all of us.

You can choose to be a victim of your own creation or you can accept that you created it… and that by in changing your perception of it, you can step free of that same prison. No walls can hold your spirit. You can soar with wings of imagination, free as a bird uncaged.

And as you come into alignment with self, your world will change, because your perception of it has changed. Everything that comes into your life will be a gift, an opportunity to learn, to enjoy, to perceive the connection of all life… to see the beauty and richness that exists all around you within this physical realm of being.

We are spiritual beings having a human experience. Our vibration has been stepped down, on purpose, by intent, so that we might work through the problems that we have set before ourselves. And once we view the “problems” as opportunities for experience, they no longer affect us in a negative manner.

To attempt to escape this life, whether through suicide, death or ascension, is to admit that you made a mistake in coming here; that your choice in being here is somehow a judgment or a punishment and that to be elsewhere is preferred, is somehow better. It is a profound rejection of self. Until you can come to accept your presence here as a gift, you will continue to experience life as a struggle… as a prison and will find yourself waking up, yet again, and discovering to your awe or horror, “I’m here, again!”

It is a judgment of self that CHOSE to come here for a purpose, to enter the wheel of reincarnation which allows the perfection of the perception of self. You are given an opportunity to work on individual lessons and focus on the manifestation and use of selected gifts during each incarnation. Once mastered, you go on to another lesson and then another. And when you are done with this plane of existence, you pass onto another for new lessons and experiences. Death is a doorway through which all pass, whether or not they are ready to… but one that is not an ending, but a beginning.

The desire to escape stems from a profound hatred of self. However, you will return to what you were before you “left” just like the character in the movie, “Groundhog Day”.

People have noticed that “time” has seemed to have sped up. As time is an illusion and does not actually exist, it is more accurate to say that the vibrational patterns of this world have sped up. What once took lifetimes to accomplish can be done in months, days, hours… given an open mind and heart to be able to perceive the illusion of the prison walls that surround you.

Allow whatever is to come into your world without judgment, without a desire to destroy or escape it… for in so doing whether through destruction or seeking to escape, you merely recreate the lesson, again and again, until it is complete.

You are here, as a focus for Source, to experience the physical realm. This is not a punishment or a judgment upon you as a human being. It is merely experience, yet it is up to you what you will do with this opportunity. Will you sulk? Will you grow old angry and frustrated? Or will you enjoy the richness of life and take it all in, handful after handful, in all its diverse lushness and diversity? It is your choice.

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I have chosen to be content that I am here. I am enjoying the simplicity of my life and the opportunities that present themselves to me each day, whether to go here or there, to do this or that or to simply relax and enjoy my surroundings and observe my fellow creatures without judgment. I see that I have the opportunity to explore further the underlying connections that exist between all lifeforms and between ourselves and our world… even to the utmost edges of the known Universe and beyond. And I have chosen to accept my multidimensionality and the experience of that portion of self as not “higher” or “better”, simply there. I do not feel within the need to escape this world. I am pleased to be here, to continue to expand my perceptions, my understandings and to align with the spirit that moves within as I chose to in the moment.

I do not need to follow any master, read any book, do any meditation, or to ascribe to any diet plan… to be a “better” person. I am what I am, here and now, beautiful in my beingness, accepting of what is within my life and free to make the choice to expand or contract my perceptions as I see fit. I am learning, expanding and coming into a profound acceptance of self and it feels good to me. I am truly blessed to be able to feel and to serve and walk in this earth plane with you all.

Namaste.

Eliza Ayres

Copyright © 2012-15, Elizabeth Ayres Escher, All Rights Reserved, http://www.bluedragonjournal.com

 

Journey of Re-Discovery – Part III

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Journey of Re-Discovery – Part III

A Startling Change of Direction

When I came back from Britain, I was changed in ways that I could not even begin to fathom. Suddenly, my life as a married woman, living at home, wasn’t so fulfilling. I started asking questions of myself… and then I got a channeled message from some Light Beings that basically told me it was time to stop hiding away.

I wasn’t living my life; I was living my husband’s. Yes, he had given the time to begin searching into areas, but he wasn’t going there with me. In my heart, I knew I would have to take the next part of my journey alone.

This feeling only grew through the autumn, winter and spring months. At some point, my husband attended a conference and there met a woman with whom he instantly clicked. This person was married and lived in the Olympia area. Together, my husband and his new friend attempted to grow the acquaintance to include myself and her husband. Yet all I could see was how my husband was relating to another.

I wasn’t jealous for I knew that my husband wasn’t in love with this person, but he was able to talk to her like he had never been able to talk to me… even before we got married. David was very emotionally repressed, something stemming from his own upbringing and childhood. There was no true intimacy between us… just a kind of friendship stemming from our mutual interest in the mountains. When that began to change, suddenly there wasn’t much to keep us together.

By sometime the following spring, I decided that I had had enough. I would go to business college and get a job. So I enrolled in a program located in downtown Seattle and took the bus to get there. That summer, I found myself saying good-bye to the trees and mountains with which I had spent so much time hiking and backpacking.

By the following autumn, I had moved to Spokane, at first intending to work with the two channelers with whom I had come to know as at least friends. However, when I actually got to Spokane and saw how these two individuals interacted as a married couple, I determined that I would attempt to get my own job and place to live.

I found a little basement apartment in an old house on the South Hill. That November, I received the final divorce papers from my husband and fell immediately into a profound depression. I hadn’t realized just how much I loved him, but it was too late now. I was free. Sometimes freedom comes with a heavy price.

I found a job… and eventually also found some friends. Continuing on with my metaphysical journey started in Seattle, I connected with another small group who were exploring a kind of meditation. We would sit in a circle with one facilitator and then tell our impressions of what we were seeing. I found that I could see quite a bit…

Yet the important thing about this group was that I first encountered the books of the I AM movement there. The facilitator had a couple of the books in a bookcase in her living room. I asked if I could take them home and she said yes. I ended up devouring them… filling my head up with tales of St. Germain, Mt. Shasta, the Great White Brotherhood, degrees and the like.

While in Spokane, I joined another couple of hiking groups and took up horseback riding. By the second summer, I was riding every week and getting quite good for having started so late in life (mid-30’s).

I don’t remember the particulars, but soon afterward, by the following spring I had contacted members of the Church Universal and Triumphant. I eagerly gulped up the teaching about the Ascended Masters, angels and Archangels. I listened to the dictations given by the Messenger, Elizabeth Clare Prophet. And I attended some of the sessions, Wednesday night healing sessions, Friday night Ascension session and Sunday services, all held in the living room of a small house.

I was being pushed from within to quickly expand. Very late, I decided to attend the Fourth of July Gathering held at the Summit Lighthouse campus near Malibu, California. I flew to Los Angeles on faith, having no place to stay or knowing anything about L.A. or its environs. While waiting for a bus to get me to the campus, I met a lady who was also attending the conference. She volunteered to get me a place to at least sleep for the long weekend. Everything fell into place as things do when you are meant to be somewhere…

Yes, I slept on the floor along with several other people, but there was a roof over my head and transportation to and fro the conference.

I was a beginner and not yet a Keeper of the Flame, which is what the Church Universal and Triumphant calls (or called) its members. So I was relegated to the beginners’ tent to learn simple degrees, receive teachings until we could attend the evening sessions where the Messenger would give a lecture and then deliver a dictation from one of the Ascended hosts.

My first dictation was from Archangel Raphael. According to some of my instructor / hosts, that was supposed to mean something… What exactly I still cannot say…

In the following days, I was baptized and then had a strange “memory” come to me… about being the Twin Flame of Stephen the Martyr. I felt an intense love of Jesus and many of the other Masters who were entering into my conscious awareness for the first time in this lifetime, St. Germain, Serapis Bey, Kuthumi, and others. And the magnificent Archangels and their Archeia (female counterparts)… for me Archangel Michael stood out by far. I didn’t understand the “why”, I just KNEW Him and put a card with His picture in my new degree book.

This conference was a total blur of new sensations, knowledge and knowingness erupting to the surface of my confused ego mind. Before I went home, I found out that the next session of Summit University would be held in Montana, at the Royal Teton Ranch, located to the south of Livingston, Montana and just north of Yellowstone National Park. By mid-September, I found myself having quit my job, sold most of my belongings and moving to the Ranch. I would spent the next two years there and a total of four and half years as a Keeper of the Flame. It was life-changing experience for me. I would never be the same person as I was before.

The Royal Teton Ranch

For someone who has never been to Montana, it is hard to imagine the enormity of the land and the skies. “Big Skies of Montana” could not be more true a saying. The land is vast and large tracts are still relatively empty of people, filled with large ranches, small towns, farms, tall, tall mountains, boisterous rivers and huge lakes. As I drove to Montana on a cloudy September day I had no idea what I was getting into… yet, again. I was one to take chances and to forget about the consequences of not following the pattern of a “normal” life. The spirit within was a very demanding one and I was learning to obey its wishes.

When I arrived at the “Ranch”, I found the lodgings to be a scattering of old mining trailers. I had to share a room with two other women and sleep in a bunk. Needless to say, my expectations crashed to the ground. This wasn’t going to be a picnic in the woods; quite the opposite. It would be a struggle to survive the next two years.

My “job” was in the Construction Office. Since I had some office skills, I could be a clerk. I was never quite sure of what I was doing there, but shared office space with guys coming and going on different jobs. The Ranch was being turned into the eventual headquarters of the Church Universal and Triumphant.

The climate of Montana was another shock. The Ranch was situated on the Yellowstone River, at some 5,000 feet in elevation, deep in the Rockies. While initially dry, it got quite cold there in the winter months. Autumn lasted two weeks, with the golden leaves of the cottonwood and aspen blazing against the rugged rocky slopes of the steep valley and then abruptly dropping to the ground. The first snows hit in October and by November, the temperatures plunged into the -30 degree F range, cold enough to make your nose whiskers freeze as we walked quickly between buildings.

Considered still a “beginner”, I did my degrees with a small group in a room separate from those who were considered “staff” and other Keepers of the Flame who came in for sessions, especially in the evenings and on weekends.

The schedule was grueling. We were expected to get up at 5 a.m., wash, dress and go to degrees for at least an hour and half before breakfast; then breakfast was served in a cafeteria – you ate whatever was being served; then we went to “work”, whatever that consisted of for each person. Around noon, it was lunch time, everyone breaking then to eat and then back to work. By four, it was quitting time, so you could go “home”, clean up and dress for the evening session. Next came dinner and then more degrees… sometimes lasting into the wee hours if there was to be a dictation that night. We worked half day on Saturday and then had the afternoon to do whatever and were expected to be at dinner and later degrees by evening.

Degrees are a kind of mantra, spoken in rhythmic fashion often quite fast… blazing would be a good description of the degrees done by senior staff members. The degrees were based on the Seven Rays of God: Blue (Indigo) for the First Ray, Archangel Michael, El Morya, Chohan; Pink, Second Ray, Archangel Chamuel, Paul the Venetian… and so on. Anyone curious to learn more can go to the Summit Lighthouse website. They still have a publishing house and various study groups sprinkled around the world.

Besides the opportunity to learn about the Ascended Masters, et al, I was being given a first class education on spiritual pride and the misuse of power. By the time I arrived at the Ranch, I had not yet personally encountered the Messenger, Elizabeth Clare Prophet. I would have an opportunity to direct a few of her phone calls to her office that was nearby the reception center, in a little cabin at the entrance of the Ranch grounds. We were expected to cover the receptionist on occasion. One day, I got to take the phones… and the Messenger called. Recognizing the voice on the other end, I was a bit awkward on the phone and fumbled a bit with the connection. For that, I received a scolding and wasn’t allowed to answer the phones ever again. Early on, I found that ECP was not very pleasant in person.

While her followers attributed this irritability to ECP being “on the Blue Ray”, I thought it was something else. She was just rude and arrogant. I started to question to validity of some of the material that she claimed was coming from the Ascended Masters. And when ECP assigned “past” lives of great glory to various members of her own family, I begin to understand the concept of spiritual hubris or pride. There was no humility in the woman, something that exists in plentitude within REAL Masters.

After a few months of the brutal schedule, I came down with some kind of influenza. I ended up lying in my bunk (lower one, so I wouldn’t fall) in a feverish state, barely eating or drinking for ten days. When I finally emerged from my sick bed, I was as weak as a new-born lamb, barely able to walk or talk. Yet, I felt like I had been reborn into a new being. Just what that being consisted of was yet to be discovered.

I had lived at the Ranch for a year before the first Summit University was opened. Students from all around the world attended. There were Germans, Swedes, and Brits, a couple of people from South America and from various parts of the States. And now that I was a student, I was compelled to move to another residence, still another mining trailer, but this time located miles from the Ranch to the north.

We traveled by bus to degrees, breakfast and then class for the next three months. Sometime in the winter or early spring, I knew that my health was waning. I was extremely fatigued and experiencing strange aches all over my body, especially where there was a grouping of lymph nodes. My throat was swollen all of the time and sometimes I ran a low-grade fever. I woke up from disturbed sleep soaking from night sweats and became extremely depressed. Still, as much as I could, I attended classes, degrees and all the rest.

By spring, I was losing weight. From being about 130 pounds, I had dropped to under 120 pounds and could wear a size 6 in clothes. While that weight may be considered stylish by some, I was underweight for my height, and tired all the time.

When my parents visited in the early summer of the second year, I was reluctantly given permission to spend some time with them. Relationships between family members and church members was not encouraged. All outsiders were considered “them” and insiders spoken of being “chosen by God.” Sound familiar? It was a cult, nothing less, nothing more. And there I was, alone, in the wilderness with a bunch of nice people… no wonder most of my relatives had, by this time, written me off as being rather strange, even demented.

I was entirely and completely engaged in being there at the Ranch. In fact, I wanted to stay on as a staff member but at the end of my second summer, I was denied that privilege and ended up being told that I needed to leave The Ranch.

This little personal event occurred at the same time the Yellowstone fires were raging to the south of the Ranch, part of which bordered on the northern boundary of the Park. When I left the Ranch, the fires were still burning; we had been breathing smoke for over two months. Occasionally we watched with fascination as the great fires ran up a ridge sending billows of smoke into the skies, until the world was obscured by smoke and ash. It was a suitable setting for how I felt in those days…

My life seemed to be made up of one shock after another. Here was another startling turn of events, but in the end, one that helped me break free, eventually from the hold that the church and its culture had over me. Still it would take another year or more to break free completely.

As I drove my packed car out of the Ranch grounds, through the open cattle gate and onto the Gallatin Highway, I whispered to myself, “I’m free!”

Never was it so true… I felt a huge release, yet as I wrote above, the Church still had its claws in my flesh and it took a while to extricate myself from this influence.

What next? I drove to my parent’s house in Seattle and then onto my elder sister’s house in British Columbia. I was still a stranger in a strange land. You have to remember that I had lived in a purposefully closed culture for a period of two solid years and was in a fragile physical condition, now weighing only 113 pounds.

The reaction of the elder sister to my presence was eye-opening. After spending an afternoon doing food preparation, baking bread and making dinner for the family, we sat down to eat at the table. In the enjoyment of the moment, someone had forgotten to leave the light on for my sister who was at choir practice or some other event early that evening. And when she came home and opened the door, she looked in on what passed for a complete family unit, her sister (me), her boyfriend and two children, quietly eating dinner. She went berserk.

There’s no other word for it. The lady completely lost it. The crying, yelling and shrieking went on for literally hours. For the first time in my life, I did not recognize this being who was supposed to be a dear elder sister. What topped that, however, was the next day when the two of us went into Victoria for a shopping trip, she completely suspended the berserk act and behaved as if nothing untoward had happened. I was appalled. Whether or not my sister was possessed by entities or just emotionally unbalanced, I was determined to go. And so I did. It was the beginning of letting go of what had been a large extended family when I was growing up. I didn’t have a choice in the matter. It wasn’t safe for me to be around her, so I left the island and drove back to my parents…

A couple of weeks later, I found refuge in a friend’s house in Spokane and spent the autumn, winter and spring there. By the following June, I was again in Montana…

The story continues in Part IV:  What is a Spiritual Journey?