Journal Entry 10.03.2015 – Opening the Door


Autumn in the Mountains

Autumn in the Mountains

Journal 10.03.2015 – Opening the Door

It is really quite extraordinary experiencing these times, moving consciously between dimensions, existing in at least three, maybe four at a time.

Today is a vast contrast from yesterday. I am calm, sitting in my armchair, a kitty ensconced on my lap, feeling the soft flowing energies. So much change has occurred in the matter of a mere year’s time, let alone one day… as if time and space still exist. What I feel now, when calm and centered, is what I used to feel in “high” moments, while channeling or doing Reiki meditations.

The future is promising for all those who attend at integrating the dark and light, masculine and feminine, spiritual and human energies within. “There is nothing ‘out’ out there”, is another quote encountered in Quantum Lifestyle. We, the divine essence of each of us, are what create this space of duality for the sake of experiencing and learning.  We are a particle of Source experiencing all things.

Early this morning, I read a story about Lucifer, the Archangel known as the Morning Star, who fell from Heaven. We all did; we all fell from our high estate as angels or ascended beings and took on heavy dense form. We did not fall as a means of punishment; it was punishment enough to feel separated from Source. We came, following the impetus from Source itself, in the desire to learn about the lower densities. We did not realize just how difficult it would be.

I’ve known about Lucifer for a long time. There have been moments of recognition, seeing him in me and vice versa. I have realized that He is now that part of us that longs to be loved and reunited with Source, a process that can only occur by loving the darkness within, by releasing it from its imprisonment, transmuting and transforming the dark and heavy energies and setting it free through the open door of our awakened Heart.

The darkness holds great creative potential. It is our strength. Source is not sundered from Self, therefore the darkness is held within the fullness of Source, within the Created Worlds. It would seem that by turning away from or denying what longs to be released from within will only delay the journey forward.

People who still cling to childhood beliefs of evil, the devil, Lucifer and Satan, are still projecting their own inner unresolved self-hatred, fear and loathing outward towards symbols or groups of people. As long as we continue to judge anybody on the basis of being different we judge ourselves.

So, in terms of my recent experience with identifying the existence of an entity within another human being, I am also seeing a portion of my inner unresolved angst or pain that seeks dissolution and release. By shining my light upon this individual, she will experience pain and anger, frustration and even rage until she realizes that she needs to release that part that still lives in separation energy. Likewise, I can forgive the lost part within and bathe it in warm forgiving energies to draw it out of its hiding place. Like a tired, frightened child, this inner focus of darkness only wants to be loved and accepted into the light once again.

Individuals who serve as portals for evil influences often do it unconsciously. Perhaps to escape the harshness of their lives, they have turned to substances like alcohol and tobacco and other drugs, which can lead to addiction and being literally taken over by even lower density entities.

It is rather unnerving to see a rather inhuman glare being directed at you through human eyes, but I have experienced this sensation. When you stand in your the light, the darkness within people is unveiled, the masks come off and the darkness is revealed.  As the masks come off of people whom you might have thought to be quite ordinary, you begin to realize that there is a lot of unresolved pain and issues within these individuals.

This self-loathing, which is being projected out in your direction, is a reflection of what you still have to clear from your own energy field.  You attract to yourself what you need to work on.

Still, when you suddenly become the focus of another person’s hatred, self-loathing and fears, it can be quite unsettling until you realize it isn’t really personal, but a reactionary effort to escape the light.  Deal with your own unresolved pain and fears as they are being reflected back to you through the mirrors in your life.  Eventually you will be able to interact with people who live in another frequency level without experiencing stress or moving out of your place of bliss and joy.

Another curious thing about working in a dense environment, some of my co-workers act out in ways that are inconsistent with workplace ethics. In short, these individuals undergo a transformation that draws them down into darkness, so instead of being balanced caretakers they end up becoming meaner and nastier than some of the offenders. It takes great mastery to retain a good sense of balance and neutrality in such a setting.

I’ve learned to be able to sit across from murderers, rapists, arsonists and thieves and simply treat them as human beings, due courtesy and fair treatment. Of course, there are always difficult cases, but most often these are the very wounded, angry and lost individuals who attempt to dominate and intimidate others simply to feel better about their miserable self.

Being human has been a difficult road to travel, through many lifetimes. Now, like many others who have responded thus far to the rise in frequency, I am following the light and acknowledging and honoring what the darkness and density has given to me in terms of knowledge and wisdom.

We didn’t come here to this planet just to escape. We came here to add to soul essence, to the experience and knowledge of our soul so that we can handle these challenges in other worlds. We came here on a course of enrichment. We came here to play the game of dark and light, the game of duality, of fear and love. We came here to  experience what it feels like to be sundered from the Unity Field of Creation, which is where we were originally born into awareness. We came as volunteers. Always, always remember that of yourself and honor yourself, no matter how you are feeling in the moment.

Human beings experience an extraordinary array of emotions. As we wake up and begin to understand just what we truly are, angels in fleshy bodies, we feel shame, blame, anger, frustration, worry, sorrow, joy, ecstasy… a huge gamut of emotion… feelings in motion, feelings in expression. Our bodies are like Geiger counters, testing for the energies, warning us of danger and alerting us to the things of beauty that exist within this seemingly fragile matrix of physicality.

Savor the human and welcome the angel. Love the devil within and free him / her from self-imposed bonds. It is time to expand and regain the frequency levels from which we descended long ago and merely yesterday. This is the process of ascension, loving your voluntarily imprisoned Self, that golden Archangel who volunteered to come here and be darkness itself. He is freed as we free ourselves from judgment, of self and others.

Time does not exist outside the physical realm and those of us who now walk in the higher realms while still being embodied are playing in new fields of experience. Each of us will experience new levels of understanding as we rise gradually up through the various levels of frequency and vibration. It is truly all about the vibes, about the level of vibration where you are currently residing.

My dear co-worker cannot see, feel or understand what I am experiencing while interacting with her. I do not wish her pain, but she will experience it through her resistance to the light which I carry within my energy field. She will attack what she does not understand, as unconscious conditioned human beings do to defend themselves against something strange. It is up to me to stand in my center and just be as neutral as is possible in this situation… which sometimes is asking a lot from my body. I was shaking like a leaf the other day for a good while from the adrenalin running through my body. Step by step, patience… and eventually simply surrendering and leaving the situation will probably be the right step for me. Not yet…not yet as there is a bit more to do.

Each of us is moving forward, or not, at our own pace. Breathe yourself free by loving every moment and every experience undergone, even those which you may be tempted to label as “bad” ones, as you have chosen it all to enhance the beauty of creation.

I am amazed with how peaceful I am feeling today. It is truly a blessing. And I rejoice in the opportunity to rest and recharge and intend a future of true freedom for all those who are bound today by unconscious conditioning and fear.  My Heart has become an Open Door through which I may walk into the New Dawn.

With much love,


Journal Entry 10.02.2015


"Lake Jubilee"

“Lake Jubilee”

Journal Entry 10.02.2015 – Shadow Play

Wow! It’s been another tough week at work. The environment has been toxic where I work due to friction between staff members. How or why doesn’t matter; what does matter is the Shift is hitting the fan. The two worlds are noticeably separating. I managed to make another co-worker angry to the point of attempting to retaliate against me, which will, in the long run just serve to bring her own short-comings into sharp focus.

This came in from my team this past week:

“You are presently in the midst of a tremendous transition. It would appear that you are being rebellious and obstinate, but in actuality, you are finally standing in your power. You have drawn a line in the sand and the entities that live within those with whom you work will not be able to cross it. They are currently in the process of being unmasked and are very unhappy about it. They will attempt to hurt you but you are out of their reach now.

We encourage you to continue with your heart meditations when you are alone and quiet. It will help prevent any illness from being created during this time of tremendous stress as you will be able to clear your energy field each night of what is picked up during the day.”

After the Full Moon / Blood Moon / Lunar Eclipse the energies have been ramping up and people are beginning to show their true colors. The avid look, full of malicious intent, in this person’s eyes when she looked at me today informed me that she desired to take me down. Down to where, I might ask… knowing full well that it’s down to her level, which is fully 3D. This is an individual whom Denise LeFay would describe as a portal person or tool for Team Dark. I forgive her, but will not condone her actions and that of another co-worker in their long-term attack on other co-workers, people who do not deserve to be treated so, but who were at least initially hesitant to confront these people due to fear or the desire to “keep peace” by keeping quiet. I have broken through that false peace by blurting out a truth about the one who has attacked me, a truth that everyone in the office knows but, for one reason or another have been unwilling to state aloud.

It’s time to take a stand and stare right back at these portal people. They can’t harm me and I am fully aware that their attempt to take me down will fail and so likely backfire in their own faces.  I did have to deal with the energies that I was receiving in the Solar Plexus for awhile today… and still am to a slighter degree.  It was and is, plain and simple, an attempted psychic attack and the playing out of my own shadows.

Somehow I managed to get quite a bit done in the way of work, but it is difficult working in such a tense atmosphere of distrust and dislike.

Every night, to recharge myself, I have been giving myself Reiki treatments and heart meditations, basking in the high 5D / 6D energies. Not confrontational by nature, I have attempted to prepare myself to face the knowledge that at least a couple of co-workers are reacting quite violently to the energies that I am now carrying daily into the prison environment. This work that I am doing quietly by simply being there is demanding that I rest a lot in the quiet setting of my own house in the evenings. And I have managed to sleep quite well, as I am usually relaxed, calm and elevated by bedtime. It’s quite the balancing act. Good thing I’m a double Libra!

Be prepared for some people, who have been up until the last week or so fairly “normal” in appearance to suddenly turn rabid and hateful. The masks are off. The sweet and nice acts are no more. They can still change but it’s unlikely that these individuals even want to do so given the fact that they have already apparently succumbed to the pull of the lower energies. It’s best to release them and find other people more suited to your own vibrations, if you can.

I am aware that I am dealing with the shadows of my own “past”, whether genetic, individual or collective. These individuals are acting out for me the energies that I need to release now, to clear fully from the subconscious so I might walk in the higher vibrational energies freed from the “past”. I will continue to do my meditations and walk tall during the day while completing my work duties, to the best of my abilities and walk through the remaining fears that well up.

Ascension isn’t all sweetness and light and bunny rabbits.

At noon, I was reading through a portion of Cary Ellis’ book, “21st Century Superhuman: Quantum Lifestyle”, where this quote by Teal Swan, another Ascension guide, jumped out at me:

“Spiritual bypassing is the act of using spiritual beliefs to avoid your unmet needs, deep pain and unresolved wounds. Spiritual bypassing is a form of avoidance. Because it is a form of avoidance, it is a form of resistance. Spiritual bypassing is in fact the shadow side of spirituality.”

Teal goes on to say further, “Authenticity is the highest state of being that the spiritual practitioner can achieve. In fact in the years to come, authenticity will become the replacement for enlightenment as the true goal of spiritual practice.”

In short, it is not enough to sit and chant, meditate or pray for the “bad” things to go away in your life. They’ll just reappear in another form until you are willing to complete the lesson and move on.

So, that is what I am doing. As an empathic sensitive, working in a prison, it has been quite a challenge at times, but I have managed pretty well. In fact I have thrived in that I have been able to develop better boundaries and to get to “know” myself. And now I’m been tested to see just what I believe and if I have enough trust in Self to get through this apparent ordeal.  And I’m learning to be completely authentic… and that it is okay.  Remember, I came into this embodiment carrying a huge amount of fear.  So, I’m still in the process of clearing the last remnants.  The task is getting easier despite appearances to the contrary.

Thank Goddess that I have writing as a catharsis and friends who understand what I am undergoing. Having a way to express and release the energies, the tension, the fear or whatever else comes up is so very vital right now.

We are each in the midst of a tremendous time of change, transformation and transmutation. The old is being replaced, but some of us, at least, are still working on doing the clearing work, for ourselves and the collective.

When I inquired as to where some of this energy stemmed from, the answer came back, “The French Revolution.”

Interesting… as the Revolution devolved from a potential rebirth of a nation to that of a Reign of Terror wherein individuals were terrorized by those in power and those who were opportunistic and chose to attack and destroy old rivals and enemies. Now, we can collectively release the dark blood energies behind that revolution for the world is changing and the energies support the healing of our deepest wounds if we are willing to expose them to the air to heal.

Yes, we live in interesting times and they will continue to be so as that is how we grow and expand our horizons and become more of our multidimensional selves. We need to prove through experience that we are capable and worthy of a life of abundance and joy. We are… but humans need to really know it and do so through walking through the valley of the shadow of death and out the other side.

The journey is the quest and it continues on as the New Dawn shines upon us all.









Journal Entry 09.28.2015 – “A New Day”

“Wild Sunflowers”

Journal Entry 09.28.2015 – A New Day

There seems to be quite a few “morning-after” these days. As many or most of my readers know, today was the morning after the Full Blood Moon / Lunar Eclipse combo. This alignment packed a wallop. The days leading up to it found me (and others) releasing physical, emotional and mental burdens that we no longer need or want to carry with us.

The emotional manifestations of our responses to these energies ran the gamut, with everything from deep fear to bliss and joy. I didn’t go into any major crying binges. Rather I kind of went on a slow smolder for a couple of days, which then moved into an almost depression or feeling like I was in a void, betwixt and between. Been there before…

As I told a friend, on last Thursday, I went to work with my dragon tail twitching like a cat. And on Friday, I was upset and exhausted, even to going home early. On Saturday, I could feel the energies quite strongly and felt… well, blissed out. On Sunday, the day of the Full Moon, I felt withdrawn, quiet, subdued and strongly desiring to be left alone.

It was my birthday… and it was one of those days where I did not wish to commune with nature or anyone except my fur companions. You see, I was born with a Libra Rising and Aries Moon, with the North Mode in Aries. So I felt the energies quite intensely even when not feeling them. Does that make sense? It felt quite like being held in a vise, actually, almost as if everything up until that moment was dress rehearsal to the rest of my existence.

Today, while filled with some trepidation at going to work, I swiftly began to sense and  realize that in some internal manner I had changed greatly. I felt strong. I felt powerful. I felt a little bit of joy blossom in my heart. And all this was happening while working in the middle of a maximum security prison.

Now at home, I can feel the difference in the energies even more strongly. All the massive releasing that I’ve been doing has finally paid off in feeling the joy and release of being suddenly freed from 3D. Of course, I’m still here, still working, still functioning in 3D, but I’m not limited by the artificial dense matrix of that level any more. I can FEEL the difference!

I realize that many folks were hoping and wishing for another chance at instantaneous ascension. And I’m here telling you, that Ascension isn’t instant soup. It’s a process, done in increments, step by step so your PHYSICAL body can adjust to the energies gradually. Your body is intelligent. Your cells know what to do as you have a body elemental (or many) in charge of the situation. They are communicating directly to Spirit and Spirit directly to them through codes and light information, adjusting and tweaking your DNA.

We’re not the same people that we were even a year ago. I certainly know I’m not, after re-reading one of my September 2014 blog posts. I’m almost embarrassed to admit that I was anticipating “walking out” of this body and reintegrating into another higher dimensional one. Didn’t happen quite the way I was told it would. Rather, what did happen and is happening is the gradually integration and downloading of higher dimensional energies into THIS physical body and the holographic quantum world of my own creation. And I’m not channeling any more, or haven’t done much in the last couple of months although that could be because now my higher “Self” is communicating more directly through me without intermediary. I hear the echo in my head, “We are!” coming from “The Team”.

Every human on this planet has a Team of guides, angelic beings, galactic and cosmic beings working with them on subtle levels. My team is anything but subtle, providing me quiet comments and answers to direct questions during the day and even at night when I’m “sleeping”. They also have an extremely dry sense of humor and sense of irony.

Ah, back to Ascension. I’m not sure why folks are hoping that they don’t have to put any effort into a process that has, up until fairly recently taken lifetimes of intense preparation and work to achieve, most often at the cost of losing the body and working at etheric levels until the needed light quotient can be held steadily by the soul essence. Still, much work has been done by pioneers, wayshowers, ascension guides and what have you. Remember to do your own due diligence and question EVERYTHING you read or listen to… especially from self-proclaimed New Age gurus. Ascension isn’t a new fad; it’s been around forever, literally, since that moment when your consciousness imagined it was separate from Source.

According to the Team, I’m now resonating at 5D, but I work in 3D and move into 4D / 5D when in my own space at home. Still, it’s pointless to compare your own “progress” to mine or that of any other person on the planet as we are all unique and individual in our soul development, even though at Unity level (6D) we are a Light Collective.

This planet has been a dense environment in which to work (classic understatement!) but that is changing now, because of the progress that we have ALL made in transmuting tons of heavy dark energies through our own vessels / bodies, on levels that few of us can entirely grasp or are able to express in words. Getting rid of physical belongings, like I am currently in the process of doing, bit by bit, is an outer manifestation of tremendous INNER changes in our energetic make-up.

One thing to keep in your divine fully conscious mind (with feet firmly planted on Terra Firma) is that change or transformation (alternation in form) moves through different frequency levels. First the Cosmic level of your Being is effected… then the Galactic… gradually moving down in frequency (physicality is merely energy in slow mo) to the physical level. You will not see the physical results of the transformative step we just took as a collective perhaps for some time (reduction in crime, resolution of differences, ending of all wars, poverty, disease, hungry… and so).

However, in your OWN little world that you create with every thought, conscious AND unconscious, that momentum of change may be faster or slower than the rest of the collective. No matter, you’re merely going at your own speed. People tend to forget the unconscious part of thought. Until your unconscious is thoroughly cleaned up of all hidden agendas, forgotten thought-forms, dusty memories, old conditioning, etc., you might continue to experience some difficulty in manifesting true change in your life. So… ask for assistance, do your meditations, feel your emotions, forgive yourself, and continue to do what you feel or are led to do in order to move forward. It’s not necessary to understand this process fully, but when you start feeling better about yourself, you will know that you are making headway. And the energies are highly supportive in anchoring a new sense of freedom into every heart now given the slightest desire to change, release and open.

Trust that you are being aided on levels that your human consciousness may not even comprehend right now. The understanding will come later.

Brenda Hoffman’s post for September 28th, “Bubbles of Joy”, describes what some of the pioneers did for everyone else: (

“You, at the forefront, did the same only not in that sequence. You started on your path before fully opening your heart. That was your courage, your role and your magnificent plan prior to entering earth in this lifetime.”

I was one of these spiritual warriors (still am, last I looked!) who came here with a closed heart. I remember being startled by one psychic reading as the lady described the brick wall in front of my heart. Of course, it wasn’t a literal brick wall, but just as effective in protecting the heart chakra. Later, just last year, I got a reading from an Ascended Being, who also described this energetic barrier but in more detail, saying that I created it after a particularly difficult lifetime in Lemuria. After that, I was a warrior and armoured for action.  I can open and close this chakra at will.  And now, it is “safe” to keep it open.  In fact, it is desirable to present yourself to the world of your own creation with a fully open Heart, as its warming energy will completely transform the manifestations that you will come to witness… in the world around you… as Brenda’s describes so succinctly.

The open heart is the Key for becoming and realizing your full potential as a physical “light” being. With the open heart, you will process your surroundings and circumstances in an entirely different way than you have prior to this grand opening celebration that we just passed through with the final Blood Moon and Lunar Eclipse combo.

If you do nothing at all, do practice little meditations in opening the heart chakra. Your focus in this region should pay dividends almost immediately, as you feel the chakra responding with a gathering of warmth and a softening of your muscular structure as you relax into the new sensation of peace emanating from within. I could feel this energy movement thirty years ago yet the energetic shield did not come down and it will require some will power and intention of my own to fully dismantle and dissolve this shield that has protected me so well during this and other lifetimes of great struggle.

I’m in the process of reading about quantum energy and thinking… so there are methods available that allow you to release and reverse your blockages quickly and easily, but like everything, it takes a little practice and some dedication to get results. Like I said, ascension, indeed, life is not instant soup. Slow and easy… careful preparation, savoring the various experiences and elements that go into the broth, simmering the ingredients and enjoying the results… Ascension is a process, a step by step process and as our planet ascends, we will transform gradually and with greater ease with each step up in frequency levels.

I hope these words make a little sense as many of these concepts do not translate well into a 3D language. I just know that I’m changing rapidly and realize that many of you are feeling a large array of “symptoms” as a result of this latest upgrade and download. It will / may take some time to fully integrate the upgrades as well as the understandings that will arise as you begin to flower in response to the warming Sun of the New Day. Be patient with yourself and others and expect miracles… eventually, when you can handle them…

Your sister in spirit,


Journal Entry 09.26.2015 – “Infoldment”



Journal Entry 09.26.15 – “Infoldment”

We’re on the cusp of one of the most powerful days of this entire year, if not centuries. Tomorrow, September 27-28 (depending on where you live on the planet) there will be a Full Moon, Blood Moon and Lunar Eclipse. It doesn’t require an astrologer’s training to understand and sense that there is a tremendous shift currently unfolding on our planet.

Leading up to and accompanying this month there has been quite a bit a hype and fear-mongering about the “end of the world”, the possibility of false flag events being committed by the elite and their minions, the belief or hope that there will be a mass ascension event or Rapture, where thousands if not millions of Christian souls are lifted up in mass into “heaven”… and other speculations, prophecies and assorted unfounded expectations, as happened in 2012.

Forgive me if I appear to be a bit jaded by the New Age scene with all its purported ascended masters, galactic federations and hundreds of self-proclaimed “masters” daily relaying their versions of what the energies are doing to or for us. And yet, occasionally, there is a message that arrives and succeeds in gaining my attention, serving to verify what I AM feeling and experiencing within. The following link to a message by Quan Yin, the Eastern Goddess of Compassion and Buddha is one such:

What I am attempting to express in this limited 3D language of ours (American English) is that it really doesn’t matter where the message comes from for ultimately it comes from within. There is only ONE Being here, Source, Sovereign and Free. When a message arrives and resonates within, feel the gratitude towards those other portions of Self that are attempting to reassure you that all is well despite whatever the outer circumstances may appear.

For me, this past week has held some hellish moments of sheer exhaustion and extreme discomfort as I continue to play in the fields of the lower energies of the third dimension. And there were a few moments of wonder, great clarity and even quiet joy. In short, no matter what your circumstances are now, as you change within, they will change… eventually, and depending on your present frequency level, the rate of change will be excruciatingly slow or amazingly quick.

I read of the experiences of others and their apparent reveling in the intense energies of the X-wave and feel myself falling behind, yet my twelve-member Team says to me, quite firmly, “You are not falling behind.” The lesson or rather suggestion here is NOT to compare your progress with that of others. Exercise compassion for self, the little self that still has moments of struggle releasing what needs to be let go in this moment and comprehending what is coming next.

“Foothills of the Blues”

Long ago, I realized that I selected a difficult road for myself to follow in this lifetime. In the selection of my birthdate and its resulting astrological imprint or planetary effect on my present incarnation, I came here to balance as much karma as possible and to wrap up as many “loose” ends so that I might be free to move on to higher planes when this lifetime is complete. I am not alone in this quest and yet, many times, it feels that I am very alone, especially when such a week as the one past is being experienced.

I am in the process of down-sizing my material belongings. While compared to some people, I don’t have much of value; there are items in my possession that have been in my family since my childhood. As a result, it has taken me up until now some time to release them to the cosmos, to let go of the old energy attached to them.

I spent some time taking apart old photo albums made up of mostly 35mm photos taken while hiking. It was interesting to realize that I felt nothing towards most of the photos and was able to throw them out. That part of my life is no more. It doesn’t mean that I will not hike in the future; it just means that everything that existed prior is no more. Done. Finished. Complete and stored in my Heart. I have even let go of the memories… mostly.

Old paintings, old kitchen implements, old clothing, small pieces of furniture… eventually, before I leave this location, most of my material possessions are going to be released. And with that release, I am making myself ready to receive the New, new possibilities, new circumstances, new locations and adventures with new friends.

It is quite amazing how resistant the little human is to releasing and letting go. And yet, when the moment, ripe with change, finally arrives, it is as if a hidden lock is released and suddenly you feel free to let go of anything and everything that has up until now prevented you from moving on. It can be quite startling to realize just how easy it is to truly let go. It was only fear, unduly and unruly fear, that served as a door, although a useful door, so that true understanding of why change was needed also arrived.

Okay… so now I have heaps of old belongings piled up next to the front door waiting to be moved out onto the porch for pickup this week. Yet this is only an outer confirmation of my willingness to let go of at least a portion what has been holding me back.

I have also received verification that the time for me to change my outer circumstances is quickly approaching, as well. Many people are probably reaching a similar conclusion, as these energies and codes now bombarding our consciousness so intensely, are pushing out all the old energies that need to be revealed and cleared. Whatever decision point you arrive at, know it is the best one for you to follow for you. I know what I must do in the coming months.

I have not quite finished my work at the prison. Why I am still there is a mystery, but I am, so I must discover a sense of gratitude for what is presently being revealed to me on a daily basis. When I go, I will never look back or regret my having been in such a place. The Lord Saturn has had his way with me in this lifetime, but for not much longer. It was my choice to be where I am now, to experience what I have experienced and will be my choice to move on when I am ready.

“Wild Sunflowers”

Every fiber of my being aches with the desire to be elsewhere yet it is not in my nature to relinquish a sense of duty that stems from some deep place within my Being. I will endure.

And I will accept that I am not at the place that others seem to be and that is alright. I am where I am for a purpose and while that purpose is not clear to me now, perhaps someday it will. I do know that, in part, I am acting as an anchor or beacon of light in a very dark, disjointed place. The individuals with whom I have come in contact may not remember me but they will remember the energy signature and in some future lifetime, the codes embedded in their energy field today will come alive and communicate to them and they will understand.

I am not here for my own salvation. In other dimensions and places, I am already an ascended being. I am here as a Servant of Source, a representative of that Divine Field that is within all life.

The old warrior energy is coming up strongly for me. I feel weary, the weariness that comes from the centuries that I have spent here fighting for justice and freedom, without much apparent outward success. Yet now, when the forerunners of the ascending ones are reaching the Fields of Elysium, I feel left-out, a failure, incomplete, betrayed and the betrayer. This is very ancient energy that is currently emerging from my energy field, which has been buried deep within the subconscious for an indeterminate amount of time. A profoundly deep sense of grief, as well as its opposite, gratitude, arise from moment to moment, one to release and the other to take its place as I undergo an intense transformation on all levels.

I do not know how to express the language of the current energies other than to share my own feelings (at least some of them) and experiences. The old fear, the fear of failure, is being transformed into hope, gratitude and acceptance. Each moment, each little victory or apparent defeat has meaning and significance even if I do not yet understand what is going on. I will continue as I have, following my own inner star, listening to that still voice of intuition, through which my Spirit communes with my human consciousness.

Part of the letting go process is also letting go the need to condemn yourself for not meeting the standards or perceptions of others, which may not be realistic in terms of your own needs. For now, I need to work and to be where I am. I might not like it, but there it is. Acceptance of all facets of life and the knowledge that I can change those circumstances by changing my attitude give me hope for the future.

“Cloud Dance”

There is so much conflicting information in the world today, available from different sources, but only you can chose what resonates within. Let go of the rest, bless it and go your own way. The path that you follow will appear before you as you move forward in understanding and gain in the ability to love and accept yourself as you are Now, in this moment. If you need to, unplug and go into nature or dive into creativity activities and rest from what seems a constant tug of war for your attention. Set your intention to allow transformation to emerge without expectation and release all need to set time or limits upon yourself as to when that change will take place for even now in your moments of greatest doubt, the cosmic energies are altering your DNA, transmuting the old dark energies of fear and pain and creating a new you. Like a cocooned caterpillar, you are being reduced to a state of “goo” before the new upgraded being that is “you” will appear. Patience and faith are now called upon to allow that process to unfold naturally within.

Seek verification within. Nothing that comes from the outside is real. If you do not resonate with a message, release it. Do not hold its message against yourself as judgment, thinking that you have failed. You haven’t and you won’t, as I have not and will not. We are One, but first our disparate individualized natures need to come to an inner sense of peace and realization of that eternal state of being that is our natural existence when in Light Body.

Today we are in the process of anchoring the energies of Heaven here on Earth. This is not an instantaneous process, although it may appear to be experienced by some as being so. The transformation of this planet, from one darkened almost to the edge of annihilation to one that has recently ascended its light body has taken thousands of years in earth time. What is currently being played out in the field of mass consciousness is the outplaying and release of the memories of the destructive energies of the Fall of Atlantis and the fall of other lost and forgotten civilizations that have come and gone from the realm of physical existence. The future has been written and is being experienced already by ourselves in future lifetimes and higher frequency existences. We have come from the future to correct the present so that the future might truly be here some day for all to experience in their everyday lives. It is a future of hope, joy, abundance, light and love… for all of life.

Be here now and know that you are everywhere in every time and every place. You are the only One here, being all things, Source, Sovereign and Free.



All Rights Reserved.

And via Lauren Gorgo, comes this:

Further verification given with Divine Timing from Source, with gratitude.

Journal Entry 09.19.2015


Journal Entry 09.19.2015

There is “Nine” energy today.

I went for a walk at a local “lake”, really a reservoir, used by the Army Corps of Engineers as a diversion lake for our badass Mill Creek, which occasionally acts up in the spring. The area has been designated a wildlife refuge and serves as a fly-way area for birds passing through in spring and autumn. There was a flotilla of Canadian geese resting on the calm waters of the lake, honking away amongst themselves. It was a beautiful calm, late summer day with blue skies, wispy clouds and the scent of ripening grasses in the air.

This past week was a difficult one for me. I was experiencing a lot of “stuff” coming up for release and ended up wrestling a bit with some negative thoughts. It’s a bit daunting and a tiny bit annoying to go through yet another layer of releasing, but so worth it in the long run.

This process of releasing old karmic patterns and thought-forms has been going on, of course, for a long time for the front-runners. And of course it’s getting way old, but it is a part of the mission or work that we came here to do. So pause a moment before you wonder why the newbies coming online are going through their awakening so much more quickly… yes, it’s all the decades of work that YOU did to prepare the way.


For me it was a struggle just to get up in the morning and certainly to stay focused on my tasks at work. And it seemed that I was extremely sensitive to other people’s energies. Yes, we’re all One, but some folks just haven’t gotten their act together…. Ah, center, breathe… and move the energies through the crown and out through the heart center. Breathing in light, releasing love; I finally reached a fairly balanced space yesterday while still at work. Still, my ability to stay in that heavy energy is quickly reaching its limits…

I know there was a lesson in all this discomfort and maybe it was just to come to an acceptance that I don’t need to be a part of a corporate environment any more.

The exquisite quality of day as we walked was a reward for making it through another massive step. This process of letting go and allowing our divinity to shine sometimes is challenging.

Perhaps I chose a more difficult “path” than others. I’ve certainly been walking or living it for a long time. This old warrior is tired and ready to play.


I was reading some of my older written pieces posted on this blog. I’ve certainly gone through many phases just in a matter of three plus years. I’ve become quite detached from activities and things that I used to enjoy, or perhaps I’m just seeing and experiencing life from an entirely different perspective.

Life is a journey. Life is what you make of it. You can whine about your problems or you can go sit in the sunshine and enjoy the feel of the breeze moving through your hair and across your skin. Physical sensations and little pleasures are what make life here a beautiful thing.

I’m aiming to simplify my life further and taking the transition in little, bite-sized steps. I am thankful to share a little of what I pass through with each of you, knowing that while our journeys or lives are unique, we share an inner knowing that each moment of pain is worth it when we arrive at another realization or aha moment of divine clarity.

Let’s shine together as the inner sun rises within and takes us and all of life to a higher level.



Journal Entry 09.13.2015 – Lake Jubilee


Journal Entry 09.13.2015 – Out in Nature

Went for a hike today, my first actual “hike” of this year.  I know it’s a little late in the season, but that’s how the year has gone what with my trip, health issues and the HOT summer weather stretching into four months straight.  And it was a good place to be to allow the intense New Moon, solar eclipse energies move through the ‘ole body.

A friend and I visited a nearby lake, which is at about 5,000 feet elevation, in the Blue Mountains, Umatilla National Forest.  The campground had few people and the blue waters of the lake were gleaming serenely in the late summer sunshine.  There is a level path completely around the lake… yes, rather tame compared to some hikes I’ve taken, but plenty for today.  It was a lovely hike and good company kind of day.  Here’s snapshots:

:Lake Jubilee"

:Lake Jubilee”

"Pump truck at Lake Jubilee"

“Pump truck at Lake Jubilee”


Jubilee is a man-made lake and has a small earthen dam on the NW corner.  When we pulled up and parked in the large lot, a big tanker truck drove down the boat ramp to fill up.  The fire crews are still fighting the nearby Grizzly Ridge Complex Fire, which has devoured over 74,000 acres of wilderness, National Forest lands, BLM and private lands.  The fire was subdued a little by last weekend’s short rain, but it will take several days of good steady rain, and better yet, the autumn’s snow to soak the fuels enough to dampen down the fire for the year.

So, we were given a view of watching the pump truck load up its capacious tank with water and then trundle off up the gravel road towards Timothy Springs and beyond where brushing work is being done to keep the fire within the wilderness (Wenaha-Tucannon) boundaries and to protect various structures that might be in the path of the various tongues of the fire.

I showed my friend the basic outlines of where the fire has gone, using a forest map spread out on the picnic table.  I know the area pretty well even though I’ve lived here a relatively short time.

Great day, with some good exercise, lots of green trees, blue skies and waters.

Much love,


We are powerful beyond human comprehension.

Eliza Ayres:

Ah, you finally got your thoughts (some of them!) down in writing. Great article. Love ya, sistar!

Originally posted on LightLover Journal:


Why are THEY (the powers that THINK they are) SO afraid of us?

One of the hardest stages of remembering and awakening to our hearts is what I call the information stage.
There is a ton of information that assaults us as we awaken, and with the positive comes all the negative as well.
For me, due to my spontaneous awakening, this became overwhelming and sent me into a spiritual crisis.
There were so many things that I found out all at once, from fluoride, to chemtrails, to gmos, vaccinations…the list is definitely completely overwhelming for someone just starting their path.

I remember every time I found out information about yet another way that we were being unknowingly poisoned or harmed,controlled, I would go into major depression, full of hate.

When I found out about vaccinations, I cried for days.
I also had to…

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