Eliza: Morning Ruminations
I typically start my morning walks at sunrise, sometimes a bit before. There is just enough light to see clearly as the sun begins to light up the eastern skies. This morning I noticed how the clouds high overhead first turned pink, then gold, then transitioned to a warm cream, and finally to white against the pale blue skies. As the clouds turned from pink to gold, surrounded by the blue skies, I was momentarily reminded of the three-fold flame that burns within the Secret Chamber of the Heart Center, blue (strength, Will of God, power, masculine); gold (intelligence, wisdom, Christ/cosmic energy); and the pink (compassion, unconditional love, feminine). As above, so below; as within, so without… as an ancient Hermetic saying goes. Sometimes Nature mimics or rather reflects the profundities of ancient Teachings extremely well. After all, people learned from Nature how to cope living in their particular environment.
Okay, I am already rhapsodizing – I’m struggling a little with how to express what I have been feeling of late: challenged, overwhelmed, lonely, triumphant, happy, silly, hmmm, I could go on and on, but will spare my readers the litany.
It is sometimes said that when one door closes, another one opens. I re-discovered a former mentor from 2013, Judith Dagley… who actually was off-line for a while due to health issues. She’s fine now. And so am I.
I’ve never been a follower or a joiner of groups… or if I am in a group for any length of time, I get restless. I need to follow my own inner guidance, not someone else’s ideas and beliefs; that doesn’t work well for me. So, I am like a butterfly, sipping the nectar from one flower or the offerings of one teacher, and flitting to another and then another, gathering as I go what particularly resonates with me.
Groups… for me, at least, tend to converge around powerful or knowledgeable leaders. What is shared becomes accepted by the group and then they are sometimes expected to abide by the expectations, until there isn’t any movement or growth. So, typically, I have to break free, leaving a few people wondering what happened. This process isn’t meant to hurt anyone – and it’s happened more than once, many times in the past. Still, there are kind teachers who are open to the comings and goings of people like myself and let us go when we feel the need to go…
Judith is one of those special people, an energy sensitive who understands other energy sensitives. Labels, labels… I’ve been called many things of late, callous, blatant, cruel… and so on, but, hmmm, I don’t feel these things about myself. There is just a curiosity, a desire to connect with Nature, to go within so I can determine what’s best for me in the moment. I know what resonates and if it doesn’t resonate any longer, I need to leave. It’s not a judgment; it is just a knowingness… that inner gift called claircognizance or inner knowing. Claircognizance is knowing without knowing how you know.
When you recognize what you require doesn’t resonate with those with whom you are interacting, if circumstances allow, then leave. If they don’t allow you to leave, then learn to listen, process, and rise above judgment and see what you can learn about yourself within those circumstances.
I used to work inside a state penitentiary, a large prison that had inmates at all levels, from minimum offenders (six months sentence and up, depending on the offense) to maximum security/solitary confinement offenders, considered too dangerous to house in the ‘normal’ population. Working ‘inside the wire’ teaches you how to utilize boundaries. I learned to talk with quiet authority, listen to the men to see what they required according to the limitations of my particular specialty… medical records. I learned a lot about personalities, manipulation, control, threats and actually discovered some of the hardest people to work with were co-workers… some of them, at least. It was an eye-opener for me. I met people in prison whom I will never interact with out in public. Never. I learned to treat all the offenders even-handedly, with courtesy, and let them know when they were straying over the line in getting too personal. Offenders are shrewd people; they know how to manipulate jail workers. They didn’t get too far with me… I am able to read people’s energy and intent and am extremely skeptical when someone becomes too dependent on me.
Of course, when I went home from work, I needed to decompress. Working inside is extremely stressful. It may not be evident, but it’s there, in the background like a subliminal effect on the nervous system. After they retire, many former prison guards die relatively young due to the amount of stress built up over the years. I wasn’t a guard, but the stress was there, too, as I often sat across from offenders, with a murderer or car thief sitting on the other side of a very small table, conferring with me over his medical records. Interesting job.
So, where does that get me today? Although I carry a walk-in’s consciousness now, it has more or less blended with Eliza Ayres at present. The proud commander is becoming more comfortable being human and being around regular people. It doesn’t mean my gifts have shut down, more like dampened down. Still, I can feel frequencies fairly easily.
In the current confusing and challenging times, we are living in, an energy sensitive really needs to know themself or they can feel overwhelmed. So, I needed to step away from a set of circumstances to where I could simply spend more time alone, quietly doing my writing and blogging, observing, and feeling.
Yesterday, I know something was going on as I felt a lot of energy hitting my solar plexus. I might not know immediately what it is – there is a lot of intentional turmoil being roiled up by domestic groups within the United States. Then, there are numerous fear narratives making the rounds – I’ve had to largely divorce myself from following several blogs to pull out of that kind of focus on fear. And I pulled myself out of a couple of groups online, as, right now, I need to focus on the interior self, not what is ‘out there’. This withdrawal can be judged by those who do not truly understand my inner workings or perhaps rather stick labels on what they deem as unusual behavior.
Sorry, I don’t respond well to being labeled. Try not to be offended when I am simply in need of an extended ‘time-out’ due to feeling and dealing with feeling an overwhelming sense of confusion and anxiety right now… which is not necessarily my own, but the collective’s.
In a recent report given by Laura Walker of the Oracle Report and shared on Patriot Intel Report (PIR) Laura and Phoenix shared their insights on the current energetics that the human collective is attempting to negotiate through… rough seas. The ‘storm’ is upon us for the remainder of this year of 2020, at least through December 23rd, when the energetics will shift once more.
Laura bases her ‘predictions’ on astrology, using a combination of Sabian symbols, phases of the moon and planets, influences, and the science of observing cycles or historical replication. Currently, the United States is passing through energetics which mirror the American Revolution, so old systems and allegiance to those old systems is being broken down. Since humans are often resistant to change, any change, especially if it means letting go of a belief upon which they have rested their entire life, this transitional period can be especially daunting, challenging, and confusing. Some people just shut down, with their minds going into overload, becoming even more resistant and angry, going into cognitive dissonance, as they are unable to comprehend the level of change sweeping down upon every system currently known to man.
All I can say, is ‘buckle up’ and be prepared, not out of fear, just practicality. As a former backpacker and hiker, we had to carry our ten essentials on trips, no matter how insignificant. Injuries did happen occasionally, a slip on a slippery rock, a turn of the ankle, a broken strap, an engine that wouldn’t start because the lights were left on… and so on.
So, due to outer circumstances, I am being drawn to go within on a more intense level so I might hold steady internally during the storm.
You do what is necessary to keep your sanity these days. It is an individual thing for some people, while others feel better sharing their experiences within a group or groups. I’m sharing to degree… through the medium of writing. I have discovered writing to be a tremendous tool for moving the energies through my body. You will discover what works for you as this is both an internal journey and a collective journey. Humanity, at least a portion of it, is waking up and rising in frequency. Strive to reach the highest frequency you can and be able to hold it. It takes practice. What works for someone won’t necessarily work for others.
It takes true inner knowledge of one’s own inner nature to negotiate these troubled waters and great courage to let go of other people’s expectations that have been mistakenly placed upon you. Flow with the river and let go of the shoreline, navigate around boulders and let fear slide off of you. You are powerful creator beings, capable of bringing whatever you focus upon into your life and circumstances. Create lightly, wisely, and go in Peace!
Lovingly… and humbly,
© All Rights Reserved, Eliza Ayres, www.bluedragonjournal.com