‘I was getting groceries,’ lies girlfriend covering up fourth craft store visit this week

Yarn hoarder!

bluebird of bitterness

FromThe Onion.

EUGENE, OR—Leaving her bags of fabric and buttons in the trunk of her car until later to avoid raising suspicion, local hobbyist Karen Berger lied outright to her boyfriend Wednesday by telling him she had been getting groceries in order to cover up her fourth visit to the craft store this week.

“Sorry I was gone for so long, but there was a lot of traffic on the way back from the supermarket, which is where I was,” said the profusely sweating Berger, hoping that her nervous perspiration would cover the distinctive lingering odor of découpage glue as she haltingly explained that she hadn’t brought back anything to eat because she hadn’t seen anything that looked good.

“How should I know why we’re getting all these Michael’s coupons in the mail? Do you have something you’d like to say to me? Jesus, I try to go…

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