Eliza: Releasing Guilt
This morning as I was driving a wet road in the pouring rain in the pre-dawn darkness, I had a revelation about some of my past lives. It was about the theme of being a guardian.
In one lifetime, I was a guardian of my people, especially after we were forced out of our lands by a strange new breed of people. Not a warrior, I was forced to defend family, kith and kin and watch my people die, some through violence, some through attrition, starvation and exposure due to a long march through a wilderness. (Remember all “past” lifetimes are played out simultaneously in the Now and potent ones tend to “bleed through” into the one that you are experiencing “here”…!).
In another lifetime, I sought to free my people from outdated ideas, to bring choice and freedom to them. Others wanted revenge for untold centuries of abuse and sought only violent solutions. I was forced to flee for my life. Distrusted and hated by two sides of a conflict, I was imprisoned for years by a foreign country’s authorities. Only after five years, I was able to return home, much impoverished by my refusal to bow to another dictator.
All I ever wanted for others was peace, prosperity, freedom and sovereignty. At every turn, in these particular lifetimes, my ideals and actions were thwarted by entrenched and stubborn hatreds and an unwillingness to open minds to new ways of doing things.
I’m a guardian, a Blue Ray, and a member of the Family of Michael Collective. It’s in my spiritual DNA to be a guardian, to lead others to freedom, yet I was never allowed to fulfill my function. So… there’s been a lingering guilt running as a theme through these lifetimes and others. This is a guilt that has been shared by many light workers and First Wavers who were committed to saving humanity from itself… until now.
As part and parcel of letting go, I am releasing myself of any vows to free mankind from their self-imposed incarceration. No… I’m not abandoning this world and its people; I am just releasing myself of the sense of responsibility for the actions of others, as well as the resulting karmic outcomes.
In coming into self-mastery, over one’s own issues, emotions, thoughts, etc., you arrive at a place where you realize those other people are a mirror for you. It is not that you are them and they are you… in a human sense… it is how you REACT to their actions and the thoughts and emotions that you either project or internalize, guilt being one of them. I don’t need to feel guilty because the French Revolution happened. I don’t need to feel guilty because my tribe was driven from its age-old territory and nearly to the brink of extinction. These were experiences designed to bring my awareness to maturity and so they did.
Whether or not you accept the premise of the material that I presented in my paper on the Root Races, ancient mystery teachings do present interesting themes. One is the development of consciousness as being the SOLE focus of evolution. It isn’t the development of the body as a vessel, but the consciousness that is held WITHIN the body. This is a very gnostic point of view and one that escapes most people who have been brought up into and conditioned by orthodox Christian teachings.
From a soul level, one seeks experience, as God is learning about Self through our actions and interplay. What one person does to another is not labeled as good, bad or indifferent. Judgment is not a consideration. Souls descend into physicality to experience life in a body, striving for the development of an individualized identity, something that takes a long time to happen unless that particular soul has gained experience elsewhere. This is where beings such as myself come in… to embody into a culture, into a world that is in conflict and then to pass through the steps and stages until arriving at full consciousness. This is done for the sake of others, to give them a template to follow, when it is their time to finally seek to ascend and move on. It is NOT our job to lead these folks to water, to pull them along, to nag or attempt to teach them something that they are not prepared to hear or understand. They can’t and certainly won’t understand until they reach the frequency of understanding. Like tuning to a radio station; you can’t hear the music until you arrive at the correct channel or frequency. And understanding needs to come from the heart level, not the egoic mind.
Due to their compassionate hearts, Light workers tend to get caught up in attempting to save people, the environment, plants, animals and the planet. When first waking up, it is rather overwhelming to realize just how out of alignment to sacred law this world is… yet, there is a purpose to that seeming quandary. The extreme polarity of Earth is a magnificent teaching ground for the evolution of a soul. You cannot get growth by sitting on a cloud playing a harp. Conflict and its eventual resolution within the individual is the key to growth. Remember, also, energy is never destroyed; it merely takes on another form. Your soul is eternal; the body and its experiences here, is ephemeral, like the mists on a summer’s dawn.
We are told to look within, that everything we need for our journey is there and so it is. The wisdom of the heart and its connection to Source and our own higher Self cannot be surpassed. The inner balance that we can achieve by releasing our need to correct what we are seeing in the mirror “out there” and concentrate on what we are feeling and sensing within is beyond description.
There are those people who thrive on conflict, creating it in their lives and the lives of others. They need drama; it is like a drug to them. These are adrenalin junkies, who will never find the peace that they say they are seeking until they let go the need to control others, to project their values upon others and to continually discover new problems that need solving right now.
So… having barely survived years of working around such folks, I’m setting myself free from feeling any guilt for what I have not managed to accomplish in terms of building good relationships between other people. I get along fine with different individuals and not at all with a few. It is what it is. Call it frequency differentiation or a lack of resonance. It is nothing that I can change without the other person making an effort as well. However, I can change my own attitude, whether or not I choose to react to a snub or rude comment or whether I manage to radiate my own peace and happiness despite the chaos around me.
I’ve had several readers through the years comment on how they could not work in a prison, that it would be too tough, yet I have found this admittedly stressful environment to be a magnificent teaching ground for learning first-hand, in-your-face lessons about human psychology. Some of my greatest teachers have been unbalanced co-workers or those who were struggling with the apparent injustices and lack of balance in the system.
I’ve learned that systems are designed to intimidate, micro-manage and generally attempt to suck away any sense of self-empowerment an individual might have after surviving the American education system. These “systems” are designed to reduce your will to live, to breakdown your resistance, to make you feel bad about yourself. I’m talking about top down bureaucracies, that appear to be designed to frustrate, alienate and generally drive one insane if you happen to be at all intelligent and free-thinking.
Officers (guards) and other correctional employees often pass away soon after retirement. The jobs and the environment are tough and wear one down to a nubbin. I’m getting out a bit earlier than originally planned, because my health is threatened. Yet, I have benefited by being there, in the prison, in a way I can barely express. For one, I can read the intentions and thoughts of a person, feel their emotions and how they’re feeling, know when I’m perfectly safe sitting across a little table from a murderer and so on. It has been a great teaching ground for honing my intuition and coming into an understanding of the value of one’s spiritual gifts.
According to the ancient teachings, intuition is an evolutionary development that comes AFTER the development of the ability to think rationally. In other words, intuition is more refined and at a HIGHER level of evolutionary development, much like flowering trees are in comparison to conifers. So, if anyone mocks you for following your intuition, know that that particular person needs some more… seasoning through experience.
Being intuitive from birth in this left-brain, masculine dominated world has been a total trip… a rough one. Working in an atmosphere soaked with testosterone has also been interesting, except I carry within a lot of masculine energy. So, I have come to understand the importance of bringing both gender expressions into balance within. I wear a lot of pink.
So… what point am I trying to make here? For me, I am choosing to let go of any need to save others from their own actions. I am also choosing to release any need to judge certain individuals for perceived faults or for the actions they have committed out of a desire to serve self. There are three kinds of souls upon this planet, the service to self, the service to others and the masses of humanity that just try to live their day to day lives.
The service-to-self individuals are passing through ascension through descension phase, becoming a diamond under pressure. Every soul that arrives here has “fallen” from high estate, but all are here to experience the diversity of physicality… for a specific purpose… to eventually become a mature soul ready to ascend to another frequency level and pass out of the need to remain in 3D.
Those of us who came here as volunteers, some for longer stints than others, are here to create the template for the masses of humanity who will EVENTUALLY arrive at the place where they can accept responsibility for their own choices and how they act or react to the world around them… the world that really doesn’t exist being a hologram. It is a teaching classroom, a very challenging one.
As I have written previously, I am coming to the end of my “sentence” and the time for release from prison is coming soon. We can all find release by letting go of judgment of self or others and opening our hearts to the wonders of this world, to the joys of daily life, to the ongoing challenges that keep us growing and to the love we share with others met on life’s highway.
I have a smile on my face, a glow to my countenance… something that has been remarked upon by co-workers. Leaving the Matrix is a good thing for your health and enjoyment of life, even if doing so seems overwhelming and frightening.
Stepping beyond fear and moving through change is an act of courage. Courage is the fire of the heart, the light in the lantern. When you begin to feel your self-worth, that you deserve better in your life, you, too, will move through an obstacle or challenge placed upon your path and do so with flying colors.
I love you all and wish you great joy in the coming years and months as our beautiful world ascends higher into more refined frequencies, carrying those who are ready to release and fly like birds in the color-filled skies, gaining ever more beauty, grace, abundance and freedom as the days pass.
444 when I finished typing!