Journal Entry 07.15.2015
Our hot weather in Eastern Washington has moderated somewhat, meaning we no longer have triple digit temperatures, but it is still hot in the afternoon. The mornings and evenings are wonderfully pleasant, with slight breezes stirring the cooler airs.
I’ve been nibbling away at Lisa Transcendence’s book, “Navigating Dimensions”. As she has noted, it’s not one that you can read for long periods of time. I read it during lunch, in between nibbling on my fruit meal. It hasn’t put me to sleep yet…
I’ve begun to become aware of a repeating pattern in my daily life, one that has shown up in the past four years. The latest episode was that of another person promising to “take care of me”. While that might sound helpful, it’s truly not, in that to have someone say that to you and then for you to acquiesce is to, yet again, become disempowered.
Our society has little support in place for artists and writers save by financial means, which often leads to compromises in a person’s life, until they make it “big”… which actually rarely happens.
Of course, this is looking at things from a very human perspective, one that I also realize I haven’t quite moved away from in total. I’ve been bouncing between the third, fourth and fifth dimension for a couple of years now. As I still work, I still need to function in 3D, but it is becoming increasingly more boring to do so. Yet I’m still there, more from a need to distance myself from my latest erstwhile “savior”.
We can only “save” ourselves and indeed, we don’t need saving. Going within for guidance is the clarion call for those of us who are intent on obtaining ascension in this lifetime. Looking for an outside savior isn’t going to hack it.
When I’m quiet and staring out the window into the blue cloud-filled sky, I see sparkles and glitter and the glass seems to go molten, as the scene nearly dissolves. I’ve been capable of doing just this for years.
The other day, when talking to a friend, I realized that I was born a crystal. And that was during the Korean Affair (war, or whatever label you want to give it). Obviously, I was one of the Pioneer star seeds and have served as an anchor for the light long before I was consciously aware of doing so. Yet, as an older star seed, I’ve had to adjust my view of the world “out there” several times as I’ve gone through massive changes in my awareness.
However, as Lisa and her guides write, being aware is not the same as being centered in the heart. Often times I still come from judgment and act very human. I know that I am capable of ascending, but have tripped myself up a few times, primarily via the reoccurring karmic loop that I’ve taken on to clear in this particular lifetime.
I admit, quite freely, that I’m not perfect. I’m not walking the dimensions or visiting other worlds just yet. Perhaps I’ll save that up for retirement when I can gleefully spend hours sleeping or spending time in nature.
I’ve been offered to visit and/or move to a beautiful place, but found the offer to not be based on dreams coming from my own heart. I might consider going back to Costa Rica, but want to visit other places, too, before settling down. Since I’m not apparently fully in my heart at every moment, I haven’t reached a focus on acting as a world server other than my small efforts in writing this blog. The writing will continue and I fully intend to settle back into my art work once I shake off the odd effects of this past spring’s adventures.
So, alone again, but oddly pleased about it, I’m bent on releasing the karmic ties that bind and focusing on listening within MY heart in order to determine that which I will or will not do, in the moment and in the “future”.
Lisa writes that we create our future by how we feel in this moment. We can, therefore, change our “future” by letting go that which does not serve, is not authentically our own, and those things, places, events, thoughts, etc., that hold us back from remembering the fullness of our inner beauty and crystalline clarity as multidimensional beings.
I honor those who have served as my teachers and instructors on what remains within to be released now. Some of us are already flying; I’m still bumping along on the ground and leaping occasionally into the air, not quite ready to take off but getting there, nonetheless, as I am quite persistent.
On these warm days when I go out to water the crispy lawn, there is a large dragon fly that glides around the yard. This same dragon or its descendants has been gracing my awareness for four years now, even as bees and butterflies hum around my humble garden.
I am still here, anchoring the light, perhaps not for a way shower for those who have tripped by me on light feet, but still fulfilling the purpose for which I have come here. I can do no more or less.
Attitude adjustment is in order, but sometimes it takes a few days as the raw feelings dissipate and release. And so it is.