Journal Entry 03.01.2015
Winter has returned to the Inland NW, with chilly nights, heavy frosts and sullen gray skies. A little snow has fallen on the higher peaks and ridges, but probably not enough to stave off the long-term drought the area has been suffering through for about 10 years.
Lately, I’ve been experiencing an intense need to be alone when I can, those short evening and treasured weekends, where I can unwind, go within or just be… me.
I’m finding that my attention is more on the next painting or composition than dwelling on the confusing political and environmental situations on the planet. Is it global warming? The people in the NE would probably dispute that, as burdened as they have been with icy temperatures, blizzards and heavy snow fall. What once was predictable and seasonal doesn’t seem to be any more. Everything is changing and so we need to be more flexible, more “present” in the moment and clear about our ability to make choices.
I sometimes find myself considering what to do when I retire. I even saw myself with a truck and trailer, on the road, painting and photographing the West… although how I would manage, I don’t know at this point. Something will manifest. I just need to trust that when I want to unplug from my present position at the prison and break loose, I will be able to do so.
Anyone else experiencing intense and colorful dreams of late? I have brief remembrances of seeing five flying disks or saucers in one dream. And then this morning, I was in a room carefully hanging up a beautiful pink and rose dress with a long train… that I was going to wear at an upcoming occasion. I actually only own one dress at present… a black one… and never wear it.
Has anyone else been experiencing body aches? I’ve had achy and stiff shoulders for over a month now. As a former massage therapist, I can work a little to relieve the muscle knots that I can find and reach, but am slowly being able to stretch my limbs and regain some loss of full movement. And I’m able to exercise on the stationary bike for longer periods of time, bringing up my overall physical condition by quite a bit. As I find myself unable to attend gym sessions with their ongoing cacophony of noise and chatter, I’m endeavoring to do physical conditioning on my own at home and on walks when the weather allows.
I have been reading some books by Kryon… and others about techniques in painting. Information comes via very different sources. I even found myself watching Season One of “The White Queen”, which carries the story of the tumultuous reign of the House of York, under Edward Plantagenet. Some readers will remember my sharing that I was notified by my star family of my being Richard Plantagenet or Richard III, the much vilified younger brother of King Edward. From the perspective presented in “The White Queen”, it is quite apparent that Richard didn’t have a chance of staying on the throne for long… or at least a 50 / 50 chance, which fate withheld when he fell from his mired horse on that fateful day and met his death on the battlefield. For years, conspirators from the House of Lancashire had been preparing for the possible advent of Henry Tudor or another aspirant to the throne of England. And so it was…
I shed no tears over Richard. That lifetime seems quite distant and the times quite precarious for anyone with an ounce of royal blood in their veins. Yet, Richard was quite a different man than how he was portrayed by his Tudor successors and rivals… up to this day.
Bouts of sadness continue to arise and release. I have reached a certain level of calmness in my life which is allowing me to look beyond, to expand my understanding of what I am, what I have been… and possibly where I will be going in the future. Meanwhile, I am open to what the Universe can and will provide.
Spring will soon be here… officially three weeks from now by calendar date… and in the Southern latitudes, autumn approaches. It will be interesting to see how the energies of this new year play out for all of us. I feel more hopeful, peace-filled and creative than ever before.
Hugs and kisses,