Eliza: On Learning Discernment
What is discernment? To me, it is the ability to determine what resonates for me, at the moment. Whatever is resonating to me, is what I need for the next step in my journey. Learning discernment could be described as the fine art of listening to the One who dwells within. It is a journey that takes you to a place where you can begin to experience grace and forgiveness.
If you have read my two series of articles, “From One Who Has Served” and “My Spiritual Journey”, you will have seen that I was able to begin to discern my path even as a young person, when I first found my joy in reading books at age seven.
Reading stories was my way of finding worlds to explore, worlds very different than the one in which I found myself.
In other lifetimes, perhaps I found my joy in learning the art of war or in withdrawing from the world and spending a lifetime in prayer.
This lifetime was to be a culmination of all lifetimes spent upon this planet, although for much of this life I did not understand this.
Even though I came in as a walk-in, rather than incarnating, I still took on the Veil of Forgetfulness, perhaps to see if I could manage to walk through a portion of my life without the benefit of foreknowledge and connection with Source. My Star Family would be first to recognize that I loved challenges and challenging lifetimes. I was fearless.
Still, when I began to awaken, so many years ago, I realized that in this particular lifetime I was carrying a great deal of fear in my body. Whether or not it was the result of coming in as a walk-in and “inheriting” the fear that permeated the body, I do not know. Some of the fear may have been my own, held over from the violent ending I had suffered during World War II. There I had “died” after the plane I had been piloting was shot down.
I had chosen to come into an era that was particularly challenging, the second great war had ended, but an uncertain cold war had set in, permanently driving wedges between two different and apparently totally opposite political philosophies… that of Capitalism and that of Communism. The two divisions remained in a state of mutual opposition, each building unbelievable weapons of destruction as deterrents to invasion by either party on the other’s territory.
So… while America thrived in those days of the post-war era, still there was an underlying current of fear, brought to the forefront of realization by news coverage of acts of belligerence here and there across the globe. When Cuba became a communist state, even our shores were within striking distance of the Red Threat. In those days, it is was clear who the “enemy” was… the Communists.
Still, I was a child and then a teenager. Distant wars or threats of war did little to disturb me as I concentrated on my school work and enjoyed the books that I was reading.
Some people would describe reading as a way to “escape” the world. Perhaps, but in those days I needed to escape into the adventures and strange worlds that I was discovering. I was about 11 or 12 when I discovered the works of J. R. R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings. I didn’t even read the first volume of the Trilogy, “The Fellowship of the Ring”, or “The Hobbit” until several years later, but I knew that the world described in these works was one that I would gladly immerse my entire being. I felt an affinity for the great beings, the High Elves, who unworldliness echoed within my own being in ways I did not yet understand. They were the Guardians of their world, but their time was ending, the time of the Elves was ending and therein was contained some of the bittersweet poignancy of the tales. Little did I realize at the time, this was, indeed, a true echo of my own long journey as a Wayshower and volunteer lightworker upon this planet. Though these two words, “Wayshower” and “lightworker” were not a part of general parlance of my youth, they would become a big part of the latter years.
Without going into further detail about my life and process of learning how to discern what was right for me and what was not, let it suffice to say that it is a process, like any other of learning to trust yourself.
In this particular and very peculiar culture of the “modern” Western world, materialism has been king. Being aggressive and outgoing was the way to be, to conquer and to command. In this life, I was none of those things. I was sensitive, quiet and introverted. I was uncomfortable with team sports, did not collect records or become enamoured of recording artists like other young people. I enjoyed music, but was not obsessed by it. I wasn’t drawn to be part of the “in” crowd and frankly didn’t understand their need to be the center of attention. I was curious, intelligent, somewhat shy, and socially awkward and had little idea what I wanted to do and be in the future.
It was in my college years that I began to realize that I had precognition, which is the ability to know something before it happens. For instance, one evening while spent in the company of my boyfriend and his family, I came to the realization that I would be leaving in about two months. This was in April. After school finished in June, I left, never to return.
This ability only has grown stronger through the years. Over a decade ago, I was sharing a meal with the parents of another boyfriend when I just “knew” that my friend’s father was dying. Later I told him that his father would not be long for the world. His father died before Memorial Day. Made uneasy by my abilities, my boyfriend became quite impossible to live with and so our relationship came to an end… but, of course, I knew it would. By the time I moved out, I had known that we would not marry or continue to be “an item” for many months. Yet events had to play themselves out. It was a dividing of the way for me. A mere month later, my father died of complications arising from his Alzheimer’s disease, and I found myself completely alone. I was at the beginning of my spiritual mentorship, by yet unseen and unknown spiritual Beings.
If you have read the story of my spiritual journey, you will come to the realization that my path has never been clear-cut or well-defined. In that, I differ greatly from the Wayshowers of the Second and succeeding Waves of lightworkers and starseeds. Someone has to be a pioneer, one who works without a map or compass, who hacks a path through the untrammeled wilderness of suppressed spirituality that exists upon this planet. And so I, with many of my and as yet unrecognized spiritual family were here doing just that… acting as sowers of seeds of light, light houses and so on, in order to awaken the latent and innate spiritual yearning within humanity.
I wove an uncertain path from one spiritual group to another, from one New Age church to another, each step taking me forward, sometimes sideways, and yet unerringly upward. Yet it wasn’t until I was able to break through my own fears of exposure through the medium of writing that I truly encountered, for the first time in waking consciousness, members of my own Spiritual Family.
In the process of coming to this point of enlightenment, I took many steps without relying upon others to show me the way. Yes, I read many books, listening to lectures and channeled material. Yes, I attended services, did degrees, yet learned to listen to my own feelings. Through trial and error, I discovered that when I did not listen to my body, I got very sick. So, I became hyper somatic. A psychologist would and did see this as something negative. I saw it as being something useful. My own body was a tool that I could use in learning to discern whether or not something was suitable for me.
As the years passed, this discernment began more finely tuned. I found out that my investigations into various avenues of what was currently available in terms of esoteric knowledge would lead me, eventually, to a place where I had to curtail that particular line of inquiry and drop it entirely. From the outside, perhaps, it would appear that I was confused and could not settle on one kind of teaching or discipline. In truth, I was learning to be my own teacher, by giving myself just enough of some teaching and then before becoming an adherent of only one type of spiritual knowledge, I would move on.
Like a butterfly, I was lightly touching on the essence of many spiritual teachings and eventually would come to a place where I would drop them all and follow, solely, my own inner guidance.
I learned that most teachings, whether exoteric (outer) or esoteric (inner) demanded that the student or chela bind themselves through oaths to be completely obedient to the teachings. For some reason I could not take this step. At first I thought it was my own failure. As I became wiser, I began to understand that it was a failure of the teachings themselves. All the teachings that I encountered upon this earth plane, bar none… and I realize that I will upset many egos in expressing this… are limited and designed to continue the divisions of the old paradigm.
This realization is revolutionary in its understanding. It was then that I began to realize that the only teacher who was truly suited was the inner one who already dwelt within my Heart, my Christ Self.
Jesus of Nazareth never meant any of his disciples to follow him only, but to rely on their own connections to the one whom He called “Father”. Some of his followers understood and comprehended the extent of personal responsibility it placed on each disciple to learn how to discern from within self what was the right path to pursue in the world. They took this knowledge with them into other lifetimes and put it to the test for themselves.
Most religions would have you give your power away to a priest, minister, pope or other worldly adviser. Many esoteric teachings also have you following the lectures and messages of a teacher, guide or Messenger. Some of these teachers are very humble and realize that they are not the ones in charge, but many are seized by their egoic minds and begin to believe that they are the only one who has a connection to the Source… and hence all should follow in their footsteps or be considered as heretics and blasphemers. Some teachings follow words given forth long before, without realizing that guidance is continuous. To follow the words given by a messenger some 70 years before is to stagnate. As mankind grows, so does the spiritual guidance that is received.
In truth, each man and woman here needs to come to a place where they follow their own inner guidance, whether or not it leads them far from their original family, place of origin or childhood conditioning. And equally true, many people go into resistance when they sense the need to step out of their comfort zone and go forth into places yet unknown to their limited human understandings. Or they tend to lash out at those who ARE willing to go forth and contradict their own intellectual understandings.
Discernment is a two-edged sword. You must be willing to set aside your ego and listen within. To be able to quietly listen to the internal “voice” you need to be prepared to set aside all need to immediately understand everything that is going on within. In short, you need to let go of the little mind’s endless questioning, which are merely a means to corral your attempt to venture forth outside the box of prior human conditioning.
Spirit cannot be contained within the limited understandings of the human mind. The high heart must be opened and engaged. And through the Heart, you must travel the path until you reach the gateway to the Higher Mind, Universal Mind, through which you will discover your connection to Higher Self.
Beyond Higher Self, lies many more steps to one’s coming into full awareness of what one’s purpose for being here is and has always been. I am still learning and the process will continue even after I have fully re-blended with my Higher Self.
I have already been contacted by the Archangelic Being who is the Higher Self of Lady Tazjima. She is one well-known by some on Earth, yet I am not prepared to state Her name as it is a distraction for others.
Yes, everyone on the planet has a Higher Self and all those souls have chosen to ascend with the planet into the Fifth Dimension, will eventually come to know and share a profound connection to their Higher Self. It is a process that one must grow into slowly, for only by so doing will you be able to integrate the awareness that YOU are important, also.
Self-love, self-trust, self-enpowerment are all steps to opening up to an awareness of YOUR Higher Self and the soulful connections that exist between all beings who share a Group Soul or I AM Presence.
I AM a part of a greater Soul Group who has worked for eons, not just on this planet but on many others, advancing the cause of the Light. My work will not end with my “retirement” from this earth plane, yet it is about to take a much needed diversion into another mission, that of becoming a mother to one who will be, in the future, a world teacher, whether here on Earth or in other worlds where people are still striving to break free from darkness. I have also been given the option of re-blending with my Archangelic Higher Self in the future, after I have completed my life as a Pleiadian. I will give this due consideration.
None of this that I share is done out of a desire to belittle those who personally feel “less” than me. I am different. I come from an entirely different culture, in fact, two different cultures who have both been long ascended. We came here and to other worlds to serve. It is OUR purpose in life. It is done out of love. As an example of love in action, we are here to INSPIRE those who read these words and the others given by many other lighted messengers, a reason to dive within courageously and to seek out YOUR own inner connection to Higher Self, to your Monad and Soul Group and to those Mentors and Guides who lovingly watch over you until you are able to connect with them on a more conscious level.
Seek and connect with your Courage, the fire within YOUR heart. This will carry you forth through your fears and doubt, and into those realms that are lit with the light and love that YOU are in the Higher Realms. We are here merely to assist you in the remembrance of YOUR own divinity, not to have you worship ours.
In the Lighted Worlds, we are One. Here, this is a state of being that has yet to truly manifest between individuals, but is now in process. As you progress towards that state of being fully awakened AND responsible for every step you take, you will find that your steps, every one, have been assisted by those who LOVE you and have worked unerringly at your side, unacknowledged until you could open your heart enough to FEEL their Presence.
So it has been with my own Star Family. Twenty years ago, I realized that I was somehow connected to Sanat Kumara… and now I KNOW this to be true. Other realizations have been verified by myself and through the medium of others, yet, the awareness WILL come for you, also, if you give yourself the time and let go of the need to intellectually understand everything now. The journey of opening up to Spirit cannot be characterized or defined for all; it is an individual process. And when one arrives to a certain point of development, it again becomes a collective experience, yet few of you here today are at that point. Still, many of you will become drawn to begin to work together to arrive at this collective understanding. It will be a process as well and not instantaneous as many lightworkers are still coming from ego and not from the love to which they give lip service but have not yet incorporated into their own understanding. In short, their hearts and minds are not working together yet; one… usually the mind is dominant. Be willing to open YOUR heart so that you may be able to discern what path and what group, if any, is right for you and be willing to step from that path when you need to. Through your willingness to subject yourself to much trial and error, you will learn to trust your inner guidance.
Trust is the key. Self-acceptance is another key. With these keys, you will open many doors, doors that you could not even see before.
I AM Tazjima Amariah Kumara (et al)
©All Rights Reserved, Eliza Ayres, www.bluedragonjournal.com . Permission is NOT given to change this material from its original written form.