Journal Entry 05.03.2014
5.5.5 energy… changes in the air. I’m sure that most people can identify that there is much change in the air these days, as our daily lives are being interrupted in so many different ways that nothing can be taken for granted anymore.
As for me, I am still dealing with health issues hence I have not done a great deal of writing in the last month. Thanks to all those who have written comments on the blog, on Facebook or have written emails, sending me healing energies and supportive energy. I do appreciate it. This is, however, a very individualistic process that I am undergoing, even as our culture is being taken apart from the inside out.
I’m having to re-think what is important in my life, where I want to focus my energy, what changes that I can make that will enhance my physical, mental and emotional health. Months ago I wrote about changing my diet to a more raw one; now I find that I am compelled to take action on that intent as I find eating cooked foods to be almost repellent to my body. The raw food diet is very controversial and goes against the “grain” of how I was brought up, as a meat and grain eater. So I have to completely let go of major portions of my human conditioning, to overcome fears and objections coming from my ego mind.
Fortunately, I enjoy eating fruit and salads, which will make up a major portion of my new diet. I find that eating fruit, even in the evening, allows my body to relax and let go of the daily stresses that I undergo simply by going to my place of work. I will research and read more to give myself a good foundation on this new way of living, as well as adapting and using sound vegetarian eating when I do want to enjoy a cooked meal.
I did get to work this past week, but found myself compelled to go home early a couple of days when my physical energy was not sufficient to keep up with the demands of the environment. It is not so much that my work is difficult. If I worked alone, there would not be so much to contend with, but I am compelled to deal with the vagrant energies of others who work with me, as well as the energies coming from very demanding offenders who feel entitled to whatever they can get.
Yesterday was particularly difficult. I started the day feeling like I was going to collapse at any moment, yet was scheduled to meet with several offenders to review their medical charts. As things worked out, only two showed up and both of the men were well-behaved and undemanding. I can’t say that for some of my co-workers. There seems to be some challenges and tension existing between them, some factions forming. And I find that I have very little tolerance for the whole thing. I spoke my rather raw thoughts to one of the perpetrators, who denied what was going on, although both she and I do know that was an un-truth. I have little patience for the foolishness of those who refuse to look to themselves, to see that they are actively projecting their own sense of lack of self-worth out upon others. The whole game of victim / perpetrator is so old paradigm.
I totally realize that my feelings are a reflection that I still need to release some of the same issues within else I would have experienced little triggering. At the time, I simply didn’t have the physical energy to dissemble anymore and let go a blast. And then went back to my own work.
Releasing, releasing, releasing. Sorting out what is useful and what needs to be let go. We’re all going through this process or allowing it to be done to us through the creation of catastrophe, whether through fire, storm, or water, unreleased natural forces are forcing change upon people all over the world.
I choose to make changes in a more conscious fashion… with the aid of my present physical condition which acts as a prompter to get me to make the changes in a quicker fashion. As humans we have been conditioned to be resistant to change, yet many of us have the ability to deny any further that things have changed. Now we have the opportunity to allow the energies to work with us or to have the energies strip away whatever we resist in letting go. The result is the same, the process is very different. I would rather cooperate and work with the energies and feel that most awakened peoples would feel that, too.
How we go about making changes in our daily living and approach to life is an individual process. What we do to pull ourselves out of the rabbit hole affects all those around us.
More and more I see and feel the existence of two different worlds existing simultaneously, side by side. I can step from one to another in a heartbeat. I choose to live entirely in the new world, but in actuality that complete transformation may still take a while to manifest into my daily life, simply by the manner in which I currently make my living and other circumstances. Yet I can see alternatives beginning to take effect, even as they still exist in potential, in the etheric plane. Still, by focusing on what I DO want in my life, it can come into being simply through the power of manifestation granted to one who is slowly advancing on the path of initiation.
Love is an energy that has been greatly misunderstood in our culture. It is not “soft” and yet it is; it is not tender and yet it is. It is transformational and life-changing. My life is changing. The way I feel about every thing is changing, daily, moment to moment, as I gain understanding about who I AM and what I AM returning to, the realization and experience of my Self as a multidimensional being. This understanding and self-knowledge is not accomplished in one day or one hour; it is an ever expanding awareness that I AM more than just a body. I AM a vast and unlimited consciousness that happens to have one small portion of self currently residing in a humble human body. Self knowledge and awareness of who I AM in terms of soul family is also now beginning to unfold in my life. I have met, online, some of my real spiritual cousins and relatives. More I cannot presently share out of consideration for these sensitive and private individuals, but it is an exciting development in my life.
So… my physical condition is still slowly improving, but I feel that the physical will follow the emotional and mental balancing that I am currently undergoing as I continue to revalue what is the meaning of my existence here and what I can do now and into the future to assist myself and others to adapt to the energies of the new world. There is much that I cannot put into words here, for the understanding is still formulating, but know that I feel good about what is happening to me and the world, even though it seems that chaos still reigns.
Last night in a dream I walked through a beautiful town. It was like an old Southern town, with wide gravel avenues and tall gracious white buildings rising on each side, set in green gardens. There were electric trolleys in the middle of the street and a tram that passed overhead at one point. This was just a image that I woke with; I have no idea where I was or what I was doing there.
The night before, I had a dream where I was walking along a shoreline, with darkened buildings rising up to my left. I was being followed closely by my cat, pausing every once in a while to allow the animal to catch up. I was very happy to have my little furry companion and paid little attention to any people nearby. In real life, I have spent a great deal of time in the company of my two furry companions who have acted as healing angels for me, spending lap time or sleeping nearby in a companionable manner. I feel that we greatly underestimate what the presence of animals does for us when the love that exists naturally between species is allowed to flow freely and unconditionally. Were it the same between humans, as well.
Hugs and kisses to all,
All Rights Reserved, Eliza Ayres, http://www.bluedragonjournal.com
Photo: by Hikingqueen, http://www.nwhikers.org – Mt. Hood in spring.