Journal Entry 04.22.2014
Well, yesterday I attempted to go back to work. I came home three hours later. My body is as wobbly as a new-born fawn; full recovery may take a while.
Now someone with less experience in letting go might have a ton of questions, namely, “Why?” The why is simple; it took a health crisis to get me to completely surrender. And what am I surrendering? The same that everyone else is in the process of doing these days, whatever doesn’t work for them; whatever doesn’t belong to them; and most especially, whatever they cannot take into the higher energies. Everything that is not you or me, that is not of the highest essence of our multidimensional being, is now in the process of being stripped away. We cannot take it forward.
So, it is best to surrender to the process, although still not altogether an easy one, for as the stuff arises to leave, we become aware of it, even uneasy, sensing that what is being brought to the surface of our conscious mind is not pretty. It is thought-forms, emotions and assorted garbage that has been well-hidden in the darkest corners of our subconscious mind, carried from one lifetime to the next, eventually intended to be dealt with. That time has now arrived, but now we are being given the option of simply letting the “stuff” go, releasing it, transmuting it with the Violet Flame or the higher Cosmic cleansing flame of the Sea-Foam Green (8th Ray). The beneficence of Heaven is at our command if we but begin to understand just how powerful we are and to come into full acceptance of that sacred power.
I have had to confront some ugly parts of myself or what I thought were me (which actually are not) and to let them go. I finally accomplished that feat yesterday, in recognition of what was going on as the latest words of Mother-Father God were echoing in my ears. All it takes to come into acceptance of your Self is surrender.
As one who is committed to an accelerated path, what I am undergoing is compressed into a considerably shorter duration than what might be experienced by another person. What I am experiencing will differ from your experience.
What has been leaving me has been mostly made up of shame and blame, the old essence of victimhood. I’ve been both the victim and the perpetrator in the past; certainly to a degree, even in this lifetime. Much of what has left in the past week, burnt up through the fever, has been a lack of tolerance towards my human self. I have not felt very worthy this past week, of the reliance that others place upon my work and words. I have not felt that I deserved the love that I felt from the Ascended Masters… and yet, I knew that I did and do… as do all of you who might someday read these words.
These very human doubts have been a part of our human identity for thousands of years. This mental construct has long served its purpose to keep us out of alignment with our Higher Self and most recently, to prevent those on the Path of Initiation from going forward. I have emerged from my sick bed knowing with a surety burnt into my heart by fever that I AM love, that I am loved and that I love. This is all I need know to keep going forward into the Light, to allow my Higher Self anchor even more fully into my physical being. Indeed, as part of the act of surrendering, Mother-Father God is enabling me to relinquish the need to even determine my future with my free-will, by surrendering that freewill to my Higher Self. And so I can truly let go and allow for whatever needs to take place, to do so.
I turn my face to the Light that surrounds me. I feel the great Love that the Ascended Masters, Angelic Beings and Christed Galactic Beings hold for all of us. I AM one with them and already walk in many worlds. I will allow for the wisdom of my multidimensional Self to be revealed in the coming days as the energies continue to rise. I need not do anything but allow the process to occur and so it is.
It will take some days for me to physically recover, but already I am recovered in my sense of surety that I am fully accepted and loved. There is nothing to fight anymore. There is no need to resist. Surrender is the only way to discovering the peace that already exists within your sacred Heart Center. Enter there now, with the Angels, and be well.
I AM your Sister, in Light and Love,
All Rights Reserved, by Eliza Ayres, http://www.bluedragonjournal.com
Photo: Spring on Dalles Mountain, Columbia Gorge